Anh chị giúp em sửa bài này với ạ! ( Benefits of Facebook)

Question

In recent time, FB has become more and more popular because of its advantages. I think that it has 3 benefits as follow.

To begin with,FB is a means of communication. Each day, millions of people log into it to chat with their friends or their relatives who live apart from them. So, it's the main way to keep in touch with their family and friends.

Next, we can have a whole look about the world tks to FB. Each huors, everything new and amzing is updated immediately including diseases , war and so on. Therefore just by sitting home, we can know what's happening around us and we can avoid bad things.

Last but not least FB helps us self-studying. Each day, many exercises and many things new that  aren't in books are updated for us. Therefore, we can not only winden our knowledge but also get better results.

To sum up, for 3 benefits above, I think FB is advantageous.

Answer 1

In recent time(in recent times),FB(facebook) has become more and more popular because of its advantages. I think that it has 3 benefits as follow.

To begin with,FB is a means of communication. Each day, millions of people log into it to chat with (friends or  their  relatives)their friends or their relatives who live apart from them. So, it's the main way (it is  the best way)to keep in touch with their family and friends  them.   (chỉ cần them thôi)

Next, we can have a whole look about the world fromFB. Each huors (hour), everything new and amazing is updated immediately including diseases , war and so on. Therefore ,just by sitting IN FRONT OF A COMPUTER SCREEN, we can know what's happening around us and we can avoid bad things.

Last, but not least FB helps us self-studyies.each day,many excercise and many things new that  aren't in books are updated for us. Therefore, we could not only winden our knowledge but also get better results.
 

To sum up, for 3 benefits above, I think FB is advantageous.

 

Answer 2

bài mà dài vs nhiều ý hơn nữa thì hay bạn ak

sao nó ngắn ngủn vaj?????

Cơ mà nếu nêu thêm dẫn chứng thực tế thì sinh động hơn nhỉ???? M nhớ có cái vụ j mà có đứa bé vs ba nó bị kẹt ở đống đổ nát, ba nó bất tỉnh, còn nó chỉ bị thương nhẹ, r nó lấy đt ra, log in fb đăng stt kêu cứu á, may nhờ nó mà ba vs nó đc cứu! Bạn lấy dẫn chứng đó cux dc! Hôm bữa đọc báo thấy tin đó, nhg lâu r nên ko nhớ rõ tin đó ở nc nào! =)) Thân !

Answer 3

In recent times, FB has become more and more popular because of its advantages. I think that it has 3 benefits as follow.

- Khi viết bài bạn nên hạn chế dùng cụm ‘more and more’. Cụm “has become…. advantages” có thể viết lại như “ FB has played an important role  and been indispensable especially in the young”

- Intro của bạn còn cụt ý.

To begin with,FB is a means of communication. Each day, millions of people log into it to chat with (thay bằng keep in touch with) their friends or their relatives who live apart from ( thay bằng are far away from, vì apart from nghĩa là ngoại trừ) them. So, ( bỏ so thay bằng therfore, vì so thường dùng trong văn nói) it's ( it is, bạn không được viết tắt) the main way to keep in touch with their family and friends. ( câu này hoàn toàn giống câu trước)

Next, we can have a whole look ( bạn có thể thay bằng “an entire view) about the world tks to FB. Each huors (spelling), everything new and amazing ( main news or headlines) is updated immediately including diseases , wars and so on ( không dùng so on trong văn viết). Therefore, just by sitting at home, we can know what's happening around us and we can avoid bad things.

Lastly, but not least FB helps us self-studying. Each day, many exercises and many things new that  aren't in books are updated for us ( câu này có thể thay bằng “ we can access to a wide range of knowledge and exercises by using FB). Therefore (bạn nên thay bằng “thus” vì therefore lặp quá nhiều), we can not only winden our knowledge but also get better results.

To sum up, for 3 benefits above, I think FB is advantageous ( conclusion của bạn chưa ổn và cụt ý)