mình mới học nên vocab và gramma còn kém. hi vọng mn đừng bỏ qua mình. :<
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many countries nowaday have been seeking to transform agricultural lands into industrial zones. do you think this change is beneficial more than it is harmful?

 
In the comtemporary world, there is a growing tendency, among many countries to change agricultural lands into industrial zones. While the benefits of changing cannot be disregarded, i believe that the drawbacks outweigh the merits.

      To start with, seeking to transform agricultural lands to industrial zones for personal purposes is disadvantages in two ways.primarily, it contributes to polluted enviroment which is a insoluble problem in each of developed countries, especially, the speed of pollution is extremely quick within only a decade starting developes industry. In the other hand, this transformation can be detrimental to people's health caused by inevitable emissons of exhaust fumes in the factory to the atmosphere thus leaving people and other living things with no choice but to breathe in toxic air. To illustrate, China is a case in point, it is showing that many children suffer from congestial defect and many people take mask as almost all time. Actually/ this consequence caused by living in polluted enviroment which effected heavily.

     Despite the benefits however, there are some certain benefits that can be dirived from changing agricultural land to industrial zones. A side from this, developing industry is the main supply money in the economy in order to have more business opportunity. Furthermore, with the development of technology, automatic machines are invented which is a intelligent method to brought back a lot of profit to company as well as. An excellent example would be my brother's company  applied the automatic machines which is less time-consuming and workforce. Unfortunately, with the help of technology in the world of developed industry, the amount of unemployed people is increasing in the recent years, as regarde polluted enviroment and people's health, govement have now been discussing, however, there is no signal which is satisfactory.

    To put it briefly, people need to be aware of the positive to transform agricultural lands into industrial zones althought I still determinedly believe that, on the whole, such development have extremely effected to enviroment day by day.

 

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  To start with, seeking to transform agricultural lands to industrial zones for personal purposes is disadvantages in two ways --> lỗi grammar. bạn có thể sửa thành .. has two major disadvantages/drawbacks.

 In the other hand, this transformation can be detrimental to people's health caused by inevitable emissons of exhaust fumes in the factory to the atmosphere thus leaving people and other living things with no choice but to breathe in toxic air. --> On the other hand,... Và nếu muốn dùng on the other hand thì cần phải có on the one hand ở trước đó.

Câu cuối: day by day không được formal, nếu có thể thì nên tránh

Ngoài ra còn 1 số lỗi nhỏ về chia động từ, danh từ số ít/ số nhiều chắc do sơ suất bạn có thể tự xem lại nhé :))

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