Some people believe that computers are more a hindrance than a help in today's world. Others feel that they are such indispensable tools that they wouldn't be able to live or work without them
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Some people believe that computers are more a hindrance than a help in today's world. Others feel that they are such indispensable tools that they wouldn't be able to live or work without them. In what ways are computers a hindrance? What is your opinion?

It is true that computers are one of the most wonderful inventions of human beings. Although some suggest that computers bring more a hindrance than a benefit, I believe nth at there are more helps.

     There are some drawbacks for people. First of all, people become passive because of the dependence on computers. Indeed, in the past to find information people had to sit for long hours or even a whole day in library and read lots of raw materials to filter. By contrast, currently with the introduction of computers they just type their requirements on computer and they have information quickly. However, they just copy and paste without caring the origin of these data. In addition, computers have negative impacts on children moral development. There are a numerous kinds of games on computer with the subject of violence or crimes. Children may imitate these actions; as a result, they become spoilt children.

     On the other hand, I believe that computers are an enormous help in people's lives. Computers are a limitless storage. It cannot imagine that people build a large house to store or record data years by years. It is extremely wasteful. Thus, most of them store in computers in order in a file. Admittedly, a small computer is able to save a large house of data. What is more, computers are speedy and accurate. They process the information mucus faster than human brain. For example, it takes three or four minutes for people to find a location of a file by searching index card. However, when using computers, it takes a few seconds.

     In conclusion, it seems to me that a help of computers are remarkable than any possible hindrance.

 

các bạn sửa dùm mình bài này với. Minh cảm ơn nhiều nha

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Hi bạn,

Mình đoán là bạn viết essay theo kiểu của IELTS và mình không nắm rõ về structure của bên IE nên mình chỉ nhận xét sơ thôi nhé.

1. Ideas: ok, nhưng trong paragraph nói về drawbacks của computers thì mình không nghĩ là bạn nên đưa ý 'takes long time to find materials in library' và 'use computers to find infor faster' vì nó sẽ weaken cái disadvantages of computers. Phần conclusion hơi ngắn, khoảng 2-3 câu là vừa nhé bạn. 

2. Grammar: có một vài lỗi cần sửa như sau:

     In addition, computers have negative impacts on children moral development ( -> children's moral development)

     On the other hand, I believe that computers are an enormous help (-> computer is an..help) in people's lives. Computers are a limitless storage. It (->we) cannot imagine that people build a large house to store or record data years by years. It is extremely wasteful. Thus, most of them store (were stored) in computers in order in a file. Admittedly, a small computer is able to save a large house of data. 

 

 

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Hì bạn,

minh cảm ơn ý kiến của bạn nha :) . Minh sẽ sửa :)

Không có gì đâu bạn. laugh

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