writing task 1 -modes of transport -line graph

Question

The line graph shows the amount of goods delivered in England from 1974 to 2002 by four different types of transport. Overall, Road mode was always the most common mode to some extent.

                Both Road and Pipeline experienced a gradual rise in the million tons of goods delivered over the given period. The figure for pipeline started at approximately 5 then it reached a peak at 21 million in 2002. Whereas, road began with a higher number, 70 million of products before ending the period at almost 100 million tons

                Meanwhile, the water and rail had a same trend in the first 5 years of the period then the water mode of transport saw a slowly but surely increase in the quantities of goods , dropping by 10 million tons before hitting the highest point at about 63 million tons . The last mode fluctuated mildly and finally took back its popularity, just over 40 million tons in 2002.

Answer 1

- Bạn xem lại cách dùng chủ ngữ. Cần phân biệt được việc rise, fluctuate,...là của quantities of goods chứ không phải của road, water, rail,...

The last mode fluctuated mildly

Road and Pipeline experienced a gradual rise

The figure for pipeline started at approximately 5 then it reached a peak at 21 million in 2002.

road began with a higher number

- Dùng adv và adj

the water mode of transport saw a slowly but surely increase in the quantities of goods

- Cách dùng whereas

 

Comments

Thanks bạn , mà bạn ơi mình còn hơi thắc mắc là " Both Road and Pipeline experienced a gradual rise in the million tons of goods " ;

 The figure for pipeline started => minh đã dùng the figure thay cho đơn vị 

@_@ Không được hả bạn 

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The figure được nhưng figure ở đây cho cái gì? Có phải cho pipeline không? :)

Answer 2

Given are a line graph providing the comparison of the quantities of merchandise transported in Britain from 1974 to 2002 by four selected means of transport. Overall, conveying goods by road was the most prevelent method and the number of goods carried by four modes of transport increased over the period shown.

As shown seemingly, the number of goods transported by road were approximately 70 million tone, nearly twice compared to those by water and rail, while carrying merchandise by pineline were a mere 5 million tonnes in 2002. Over the next five years, the quantities of goods conveyed  by all four means of transport witnessed a slight growth, and those by rail are the same number as those by water, at 40 million tonnes. From 1978 to 2002, carrying goods by road ascended considerably to reach a peak of around 100 million tonnes, whereas transporting by rail fluctated over time and carrying just over 40 million tonnes of goods in 2002. The quantities of merchandise conveyed by pineline and water experienced a considerable rise, at over 60 and 20 million tonnes in 2002 respectively.

Comments

mình thích vốn từ của bạn , bạn có dùng từ điển luc viết không ? , mình đang muốn cải thiện cách viết :"> , mong chỉ giáo :"> . Thanks

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uh cảm ơn bạn nhé. mình không dùng từ điển nhưng chắc cũng sai nhiều lắm bạn ạ

Answer 3

The line graph shows the amount of ( the amount of dành cho danh từ ko đếm được, nếu not sure goods là đếm dc hay ko thi mình dùng the quantities of as đầu bài) goods delivered in England from 1974 to 2002 by four different types of transport. Overall, Road mode was always the most common mode to some extent. ( câu overall thì nên mô tả trend của cả 4 loại ( tăng hay giảm) over the period of 28 years)

                Both Road and Pipeline experienced a gradual rise in the million tons of goods delivered over the given period. The figure for pipeline started at approximately 5; then, ( (phải có dấu chấm phẩu và phẩy trước và sau then trong trường hợp này) it reached a peak at 21 million in 2002. Whereas, road began with a higher number, 70 million of products (  70 million  tons of products, thiếu tonnes ý nghĩa khác hẳn nhé - có thể viết là with the highest number of 70 million tons) before ending the period, at almost 100 million tons

                Meanwhile (sao cùng same trend mà bạn lại dùng meanwhile), the water and rail had a ( the) same trend in the first 5 years of the period; then, the water mode of transport saw a slowly but surely ( dùng steadily ở đây thay cho hai từ này mình nghĩ ok, ko dùng surely) increase in the quantities of goods,( tự nhiên lại dropping - ngữ pháp ở đây là gì vậy) dropping by 10 million tons before hitting the highest point, at about 63 million tons ( mình thấy câu này bạn viết quá dài nên tách ra) . The last mode fluctuated mildly and finally took back its popularity, just over 40 million tons in 2002. ( câu này mình thấy không ổn một chút nào).

Mình đọc qua thì thấy những lỗi trên về ngữ pháp và dùng từ. Dùng comma và semi-comma mình thấy khá quan trọng. nếu đọc bài này mình không hài lòng lắm - đấy là trên phương diện của mình cũng là người đang ôn thi IELTs thôi