Mình mới tập viết task 2 ( advantages and disadvantages) các bạn chữa bài giùm mình

Question

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

It is a argued that nowadays foreign languages is very essential for our life and work so it should be encouraged to study at primary school rather than secondary school . Some people believe it is not only brought a lot of benefits but also created complex education issues. This essay , i will take more detailed to look at advantages and disadvantages of this opinion.

 

On the one hand, some parents think the benefit is much bigger than the disadvantages. Firstly, it is undeniable that children learn faster and better when they were young. Children can learn new words quickly with pictures and also they can pronounce correctly just by watch a cartoon or sing a song. Secondly, children is more confidence to communicate with foreigner; but, student at secondary school can not do this because they afraid of speaking something wrongs. That is why students at secondary school spend more times to improving their foreign languages than the students learn at primary school.

 

However , beside the advantages, there are some disadvantages which we should  minimize.Children learn a foreign language in early years may confuse them between mother tongue and foreign languages. Furthermore. it makes them very hard to learn mother tongue. Nowadays, there are still many children have a unfortunate life, so they can not to be approach with a foreign language when they were young.

 

In conclusion, learning foreign languages for children bought a large number of benefits but also made some drawbacks. Thus, it is important to reduce the adverse effects so the advantages will be greater.

 

 

 

Answer 1

It is an argued
foreign languages are
work, so it should
Some people believe it brought a lot of benefits but also created complex education issues cái này bạn dùng notonly... but also ....?? Nếu chỉ dùng  but also sẽ tạo ra 1 câu ghép và cấu trúc của bạn là sai .
i will take a more detailed look at advantages and disadvantages of this opinion.:a more detailed detailed là tình từ, bạn dùng a more... là sao?. Look là động từ, bạn nên dùng to look the advantages and disadvantages of the opinion.
the benefit is much bigger than the disadvantages. thì bạn nên benefits are nha,
 Children can learn new words very fast with pictures and also they can pronounce correctly just by watch a cartoon or sing a song. Câu này sai lỗi nghiêm trong .learn new words very fast fast là tính từ, nên dùng trang từ sau động từ.

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Comments

sr mấy lỗi này , mình sửa lại ngay , bạn chấm coi mình bao nhiểu điểm đc k

Answer 2

It is argued that whether foreign languages should be encouraged to study at primary school rather than secondary school .

Mình nghĩ not only....but also chỉ sự tăng tiến và tương đồng, nên không dùng not only ...benefit + but also "issue" được.

 

On one hand, some parents think the benefits outweight the disadvantages. Firstly, it is undeniable that children learn better when they are young. Children can learn new words quickly with pictures. They can also pronounce correctly just by watch a cartoon or sing a song. Secondly, children are more confidence to communicate with foreigners. However, students at secondary school cannot do this because they are afraid of speaking something wrongs. That is why students at secondary school spending more time to improve their foreign languages than the students learn at primary school.

 

On the other hand, there are some disadvantages which we should  minimize.Children learning foreign languages in early years may confuse them between mother and foreign languages. Furthermore. it makes them very hard to learn mother tongue. Nowadays, there are still many children have a unfortunate life, so they can not to be approach with a foreign language when they were young.

P.s: Mình chỉ sửa một số phần. Bạn viết xong chú ý xem lại S-V agreement nha :)

Cannot chứ không được viết là can - not. Đây cũng là một vấn đề cần chú ý.

Answer 3

Bài viết bạn hay nhưng mình có 1 chút góp ý

It is a argued

nowadays: trong sách dạy ielts ko cho fép dùng nowadays

 Some people believe it is not only brought a lot of benefits but also created complex education issues

This essay: in this essay

Đó là những thứ mình nghĩ bạn sẽ tự sửa được.

Bạn dùng thì mình thấy hơi lộn xộn