Bài IELTS Task 1 sáng 4/6 -Bình Định [closed]

Question

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The table below presents the number of children ever born to women aged 40-44 years in Australia for each year the information was collected since 1981.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

Number of children ever born, Women aged 40–44 years
					Four or
		One	Two	Three	more
	None	child	children	children	children
year	%	%	%	%	%
2006	15.9	13.2	38.3	21.5	11.0
1996	12.8	11.3	38.2	24.6	13.1
1986	9.7	8.7	35.6	27.0	18.9
1981	8.5	7.6	29.0	27.4	27.6
Source: ABS Births Australia 2001, 2006 (3301.0)

   My answer:            

                The table shows the number of children was born by woman who aged 40-44 years in Austrailia in 1981,1986,1996 and 2006.

                In 1981, wonman in this age prefer to have two children (29%) than three children (27,4%) or four or more children (27,6%). The proportion of woman aged 40-44 years who want to have given birth two children increased by 6.6% from 1981 to 1986. Along with the trend in 1981, having two children (35,6%) still had higher percent than the others such as one child (8.7%), three children and four of more children ( 27,0% and 18,9%).

                While the percent of woman in this age are more likely to have three children and four or more children deacreased  2006 and 1996, the others increased dramatically. In 2006, the proportion of woman who want to have two children is 38.3% but having four or more children had lowest percent in 4 years (11,0%). The rates of woman aged 40-44 years didn’t want to have child also increased rapidly from 8.5% in 1981 to 15,9% in 2006. Similarily, the percent of woman want to have one child also went up by 5,6 % from 1981 to 2006.

Overall, woman aged 40-44 years are more likely to have one child or two child or no children increased from 1981 to 2006 while the percent of the others were decreasing sightly.

Answer 1

The table shows the number of children was born by woman who aged 40-44 years in Austrailia in 1981,1986,1996 and 2006.
                In 1981, wonman=>woman in this age prefer to have two children (29%) than=>prefered to have two children rather than three children (27,4%) or four or more children (27,6%). The proportion of woman aged 40-44 years who want to have given=>wanted to give birth two children increased by 6.6% from 1981 to 1986. Along with the trend in 1981, having two children (35,6%) still had higher percent than the others such as one child (8.7%), three children and four of=>or more children ( 27,0% and 18,9%, respectively).
                While the percent of woman in this age are=>were more likely to have three children and four or more children deacreased=>decreased  2006 and 1996, the others increased dramatically. In 2006, the proportion of woman who want=>wanted to have two children is 38.3% but having four or more children had lowest percent in 4 years (11,0%). The rates of woman aged 40-44 years didn’t want to have child also increased rapidly from 8.5% in 1981 to 15,9% in 2006. Similarily=>Similarly, the percent of woman want to have one child=>giving birth one child also went up by 5,6 % from 1981 to 2006.
Overall, woman aged 40-44 years are=>were more likely to have one child or two child or no children increased from 1981 to 2006 while the percent of the others were decreasing=>decreased sightly=>slightly.

Answer 2

bài viết của bạn có nhiều lỗi sai về thì và một số lỗi ngữ pháp
hơn nữa, có nhiều từ sử dụng nhiều lần trong bài, cần phải thay thế bằng các từ hoặc cụm từ đồng nghĩa để bài sẽ hay hơn và ngôn ngữ đa dạng hơn. ví dụ như increase có thể =>soar,climb,...., decrease=>descend, slump,..., "who want to"=> who would like to/ who tend to/ who have penchant for.... hay hơn là bỏ rút ngắn mệnh đề bằng cách chuyển động từ sang Ving.  bạn cũng sử dụng cấu trúc "while.." quá nhiều, có thể dùng although, despire, however...

phần overall nên để sau mở bài thì hợp lý hơn

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