Đề thi IELTS - 18/04/2015 - Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results...

Question

Topic IELTS của tuần này 18/04/2015:

Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Bài mẫu Band 8.0 cho đề Task 2 tuần này: 18/04/2015 đến từ IPP IELTS

Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Educationists have long used rewards as an important motivational technique to keep students enthusiastic with studying. While some people think that students with improvements deserve a reward, I firmly believe top students are more rewardable.

 

Advocates of the idea of rewarding according to improvements can base their argument upon the foundation of utilitarian beliefs. Compared to the small quantity of high-achievers at school, the number of average students is massive, and the improvements of the majority must be ensured. Given this rewarding scheme, average students, who are often demotivated by the idea that top positions are always beyond their reach, are properly targeted. With a little reward at each step, these students’ inclination for study is maintained, and their scores may increase accordingly.

 

However, I side with those who believe only excellent students should be rewarded. While improvement in academic results can be gained by determination in the short term, the pursuit of academic excellence requires sustainable efforts throughout the whole course of studying. It is therefore rational and fair to reward the best students, the ones who have devoted the most to study. In addition, this rewarding method reflects the exact reality when a student enters the labour market, where the finest job offers are only available to those who excel in what they do. All the students, including the average ones, acknowledging this, are motivated to endeavour to achieve higher academically.

 

The discussion of rewarding policies based on either improvements or outstanding study records shows clear and convincing evidence that it is more appropriate to reward first-class students.

 

Answer 1

In order to motivate student to research and study, a number of scholarships are granted annually for students who have excellent academic performance. However, it’s debated that whether students who having outstanding academic results or students who making improvements should be rewarded. In this essay, both views will be discussed before my personal opinions are given.

There are several reasons that the best academic performance students should be granted an incentive. The core of this argument is that the incentives will motivate student to study hard and achieve the best results. Besides, like a competition, the winners are deserved to receive a prize, therefore, the students who have the best academic results should be praised for their effort. However, it’s undeniable that in the same class, there are various student levels. In order to achieve a high core, in most cases, only students who are not only hard-working but also very smart can do. While the students who are at the middle level, despite of spending a lots of time and efforts, are still incapable of competing with those having higher IQ. Therefore, to maintain the equality and encourage a wide range of student levels to study harder and harder, all students making improvements should be considered to get a reward.

                From my point of views, I do agree with the later idea because it can bring the great development for educational environment. Firstly, it’s clear that by dint of this scholarship policy, students at various levels always find their target to develop themselves. Besides that, a reward for the improvement of student, to some extent, is very significant to those in science and technology field where the academic results are as important as the practical results. As the typical example, a fact is that there are a number of students who studying engineering major are not interested in studying theory in depth but doing practice. Consequently, no matter their academic results are, they still have considerable contribution to their field.  Therefore, it will be a mistake if their results are not evaluated.

In short, instead of rewarding only students having the best academic results, the consideration of student’s improvement to grant a scholarship is the more favorable way to enhance student’s motivation.

Comments

- In my first look, this seems to be too long compare with 250 words.

- "scholarship" is not the same as "reward": "scholarship" is one of many kinds of "rewards"

- " In order to achieve a high core, in most cases, only students who are not only hard-working but also very smart can do." => "core" should be replaced by "score"

-"While the students who are at the middle level, despite of spending a lots of time and efforts, are still incapable of competing with those having higher IQ." => "despite" does not go along with "of", only "in spite of" (source: https://learnenglish.britishcouncil.org/en/grammar-reference/spite-despite-although)

- "In order to motivate student to research and study, a number of scholarships are granted annually for students who have excellent academic performance. However, it’s debated that whether students who having outstanding academic results or students who making improvements should be rewarded. In this essay, both views will be discussed before my personal opinions are given." => should be shorten. Here is my opinion: "Prize is always used to recognize and motivate excellent results of students at school. Although I accept that students with best consequences deserve valuable prizes, I also agree that prizes should be given to students with not only excellent results but also nonstop betterment."

Answer 2

In hope of encouraging students’ studies, some people assume that premiums should be rewarded to those who have surprising achievements. This may be true to some extent. In my opinion, however, those premiums will be highly appreciated if they are given to those students who make progress.

On one hand, rewarding to distinguished students only may appear to be reasonable to some extent. For one thing, those students merit praises for their exceptional contributions. Such premiums will not only motivate their developments but also help them make sense of their responsibility for the society, thereby encourage them to devote more to the general public. For another, those rewards seem to be costly, therefore they should be granted limitedly. In practice, in order to promote the society, such a great deal of money is annually spent on rewards for talented students. As a result, if those valuable premiums are rewarded unselectively, the amount of money paid for other purposes like charity will inevitably be curbed.

On the other hand, I do agree with the later idea not only because both outstanding and common students certainly need encouragements but also because rewards for ordinary students are significantly not as costly as those for talented ones. In fact, rewards, regardless of their sizes, are prone to be more highly evaluated by a common person simply due to his infrequent prizes. This would inevitably lead to his continuation to make greater efforts. Besides, the rewards for students showing improvements will not be significant if schools vary their scholarships to reward to students according to their achievements’ sizes. Consequently, everyone receives timely and valuable encouragements, thereby keeps making progress.

In conclusion, rewards play an indispensable role in human and society developments. Schools should attempt to reward not only students showing the best academic achievements but also those who just make efforts.

Answer 3

Over the past few years, we have seen a substantial rise in the number of awards given to good students. There have been conflicting views about that, however. Some people believe it should be rewarded for the best students while the others think schools should reward for progressive ones.

It is obviously true that schools give the presents for students with the aim of encouraging them. It is said that, however,  the only excellent students who surpass all the others ones deserve these recompenses. In addition, if they are given to everyone that have good results, it will lose their real value. Nevertheless, some people think that students whose outcome gradually  improve should be rewarded to confirm their try and progress. Moreover, these pupil will not feel to be discriminated and interest in learning.  

I actually believe, in my opinion, schools should reward for both of them. As regards pupil tried to improve their results, it not only raise their spirits, but also become a motivation for them to study. Therefore, they will try their best to catch up with better students and be in a competition with these ones to make fast progress.  Pupil had academic results, on the other hand, those premiums  also encourage for all their efforts. As far as I am concerned, it is the requital to them for their attempt. So that, they will try their hardest to maintain the optimum scholastic achievements.

In conclusion, there are convincing arguments for and against remuneration, in my point of view schools should reward for both of the students who had a dramatic manifestation  and  even a progressive expression.

Answer 4

At the present age, an increasing number of people are deeply concerned about giving award to student. Nonetheless, whether awarding prize to excellent students or to ones showing considerable improvement is a highly contentious issue. In this essay, I will examine both sides of this argument and state my own perspective.
Firstly, it is discernible that marvellous students should be awarded a prize of merit for their sterling study. This means they had to not only make a great effort but also study hard, thereby they are worth enjoying the fruit of their long-term studies. Indeed, it is such an encouraging reward in order to both recognize and motivate students showing the first- rate academic result.
It is argued that students making an attempt to cultivate knowledge and managing to gain higher scores also receive an award. In particular, they hold that process is measured by continuous assessment in lieu of by end-of-term examinations, therefore it is more notable to award students showing improvement.
In my sight, I advocate the idea that it is more important to reward students gaining the best result. Take my class for an example, nearly a haft of my schoolmates show that they improved their grades in the past semester how big or small it is. Did my university reward for all of them, it would be expended an excessive of money so it might waste a great deal of expenditure.
In sum, the best student is worth receiving a reward as a motive award for diligent students. However, it behoves us to pay heed to not only excellent students but also ones improving. Only by doing so, can we assure that we encourage and motivate all genres of students and create an equally learning environment.

Answer 5

Some people hold the perception that we should award the most excellent students. Opponents, conversely, assert that it it more crucial to award students showing improving performances. In this essay, I examine both of these views and then give my own opinion.

On the one hand, students who obtain the highest results, without doubt, deserve the rewards. Primarily, by getting the best academic results proves that they genuinely put significant efforts in study. Hence, rewarding these individuals is the way for schools to authenticate their attempts. Additionally, since they are the best, more or less, schools have responsibility to nurture their talents and prompt them to achieve better results. In fact, these student will be able to become essential people to help develop their countries in particular and the world in general. Is is, accordingly,  worth rewarding them?

On the other hand, schools also should not neglect pupils experiencing the improvements during their study. Apparently, as the best students, their efforts should be regconized. By doing that, schools, in a way, trigger their hiding motivations and stimulate them to keep moving forward. Furthermore, with the momentum they have, it is probable that these pupils can even reach to the line-up of the top ones later. Not only do schools have more high-grade students, but nations also have more useful citizens. Thus, there is undeniable fact that in-form students should be rewarded as well as the best ones.

In conclusion, I advocate that we should confer the rewards to both finest students and improving ones. On account of the fact that these people all exhibit the great attempts in study and it deserve to be awarded.

Answer 6

Some people argue that schools should honor students who achieve best academic performance; whereas other think that it is better to reward those who exhibit improvements. This essay will discuss both views and then state my opinion.  

Some people argue that the schools should reward the top academic performers because this way it is fair and straightforward. Firstly, it is fair because it is true to large extent that good result is a reflection of the amount of hard work that a student invests in studying. Secondly, academic exams usually have clear-cut answers and thus the results are normally bias-free, guaranteeing that fair rewards are given to the students. Furthermore, it is obvious that a healthy dose of competition for the top spots will encourage students to achieve collegiate excellence.

However, the healthy competition brewed by the result-based awarding system could go awry and lead to aggressive competition, involving wrongful tactics such as cheating in order to score high in exams. By contrast, complimenting pupils on the basis of their individual progress will eliminate this risk because the only person whom the student competes with is himself. Secondly, focusing on improvement, no matter how small it might be, allows a pupil to have higher self-esteem, which is critical to the his future development.

In conclusion, I believe it is better to reward students based on their improvements and not on top academic performance. This is because it is easy for the healthy competition for the top spots to become an ugly, dishonest race. Furthermore, since the first step towards success is to believe that one can do it, it is imperative that schools encourage self-esteem in students by rewarding their achievement, no matter how small they are.

(285 words)

Comments

Some people argue that schools should honor students who achieve the best academic performance; whereas others think that it is better to reward those who exhibit improvements. This essay will discuss both views and then state my opinion.

Some people argue that the schools should reward the top academic performers because this way it is fair and straightforward. First, it is fair because it is true to a large extent that a good result is a reflection of the amount of hard work that a student invests in studying. Second, academic exams usually have clear – cut answers and thus the results are normally bias – free, guaranteeing that fair rewards are given to the students. Furthermore, it is obvious that a healthy dose of competition for the top spots will encourage students to achieve collegiate excellence.

However, the healthy competition brewed by the result – based awarding system could go awry and lead to aggressive competition, involving wrongful tactics such as cheating in order to score high on exams. By contrast, complimenting pupils on the basis of their individual progress will eliminate this risk because the only person whom the student competes with is himself. Third, focusing on improvement, no matter how small it might be, allows a pupil to have higher self – esteem, which is critical to his future development.

In conclusion, I believe it is better to reward students based on their improvements and not on top academic performance. This is because it is easy for the healthy competition for the top spots to become an ugly, dishonest race. Furthermore, since the first step towards success is to believe that one can do it, it is imperative that schools encourage self-esteem in students by rewarding their achievements, no matter how small they may be.

Góp ý:

+ Bài viết nên chú ý thêm về việc sử dụng mạo từ a/an/the:

-          Đối với danh từ đếm được: a / an + adj + noun (số ít). Do vậy, nếu sử dụng: tính từ cùng với danh từ đếm được ở dạng số ít, mà không dùng a/ an sẽ sai.

-          Trong so sánh nhất, dùng mạo từ the. Tuy nhiên, trong cụm danh từ có sử dụng tính từ sở hữu (his,my,her,our) thì không được dùng the.

+ Cần lưu ý other/others:

-          Other có vai trò là 1 tính từ, và theo sau luôn luôn là một danh từ.

-          Others = other people/ other things/ other factors…, như vậy Others có thể làm chủ ngữ trong câu và đứng sau nó có thể là động từ.

 

 

Answer 7

  At the present age, an increasing number of people are deeply concerned about giving awards to students. The debate of whether awarding prizes to excellent students or to ones showing considerable improvement has become highly contentious. In this essay, I will examine both sides of this argument and state my own perspective.

It is fair to reason that marvellous students should be awarded a prize of merit for their sterling study. This means they had to not only make a great effort in class but also study hard on their own, thereby turning that effort into academic accomplishment worthy of recognition. Indeed, it is such an encouraging reward in order to both recognize and motivate students showing first – rate academic results.

It is argued that students making an attempt to cultivate knowledge and managing to gain higher scores also receive an award, regardless of overall academic standing. In particular, they hold that process is measured by continuous assessment in lieu of end-of-term examinations, therefore it is more notable to award students showing improvement.

In my view, I support the idea that it is more important to reward students gaining the best result. Take my class for an example: nearly half of my schoolmates showed improvement in the past semester to some extent. Were my university to reward all of them, it would cost an excessive amount of money and diminish the importance of the reward.

In sum, the best student is worth rewarding, as a motive for diligent students. However, it behooves us to pay heed to not only excellent students but also ones improving. Only by doing so can we assure that we encourage and motivate all genres of students and create an healthy learning environment.

Góp ý:

+ Bài viết dùng từ rất tốt và triển khai ý rõ ràng, có trích dẫn cả ví dụ để chứng minh luận điểm. Tuy nhiên, bài viết còn mắc phải một số lỗi như viết sai chính tả, lỗi ngữ pháp và một số đoạn còn diễn tả dài dòng. Đặc biệt lưu ý câu “Did my university reward for all of them, it would be expended an excessive of money so it might waste a great deal of expenditure”, trong câu này, ngữ pháp không rõ ràng vì vậy, khuyến khích chuyển sang cấu trúc đảo ngữ của If và dùng liên từ and để nối 2 ý, như vậy, câu văn sẽ cô đọng hơn.

Xem thêm tại: http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/learningenglish/grammar/learnit/learnitv342.shtml

http://www.englishpage.com/conditional/wereto.html

+ Có 1 số cụm từ rất hay và hay được sử dụng để câu văn ngắn gọn và xúc tích hơn thay vì diễn tả câu văn dài dòng: to some extent, diminish the importance of, fair to reason that, worthy of recognition.