Ielts task 2 7/2/2015

Question

 

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places?

Mong các bạn sửa hộ mình ạ! 

 

Visitors, apparently, come to museums and historical locations almost are tourists. In the another site of the coin, those places are quite less attractive for local residents. In my opinion, there are some reasons are leading to this problem and it is necessary  to be tackled.

 

The fact of the matter is actually curious tourists want to take the chance to get more knowledge through the overview of history of the place they are sojourning, what are still remained at museums and other historical areas.  Moreover, the ring of traditions is existing around local inhabitants in every details of their lives. As the result, locals pay less attention to sites related to history due to the familarities of values, folks or norms.

 

Serving for purpose of promoting museums and historical relics, some measures can be applied. The main solution is updating collections along with creating creative exhibitions. People do not like the things are monotonous or outmoded. Should Government put more budget into renovating constructions of historical places such as temples, they would make locals impressive and raise public attention. Nowadays, services and advertisments take important roles in every fields of life, so taking advatages of media is the smart way to promote images for historical areas.

 

Historical sites and also museums are being unnoticed by local citizens. However, i believe that they can get more interesting under measures i set above.

Answer 1

Chào bạn,

Theo mình bài của bạn tương đối ổn và thật sự thì  mình rất thích các cách dùng từ của bạn .Mình chỉ muốn góp ý thêm là bạn nên cần nhiều hơn các từ để liên kết các ý.

VD: thus/ hence/ in addition/ in general/....

Nó sẽ làm cho bài của bạn thêm ấn tượng hơn,

Chúc bạn học tập tốt nhé,