Pros:
On the whole, your essay is readable. The outline is clear; good and just use of connectors and transition words is made.
Moreover, ou are able to use a wide range of vocabulary as well as apt grammatical structrures.
Cons:
However, there are a few errors, pertaining to both grammar and vocabulary. In addition to pointing them out, I want to put forward some personal suggestions/ alternatives to one or two parts :D
First, you should be careful when you replace the words "course requirement", which you changed into "education".
This kind of education has both advantages and disadvantages
I think we should stick to "(course) requirements" so as not to cause any confusion for the readers.
[..]..students will have an outlook over the real world..[..]
You should use the phrase an outlook of or a glimpse into instead of an outlook over
[..] this helps students become familiar with society [..]
The meaning is rather vague so I suggest This could help familiarize the students with how the society works
[..] apply knowledge to reality.
The above collocation is quite rarely heard by me :D you should use apply/put their knowledge (in)to reality/ practice
[..] how these economic ideas are used in practices, it will be easier for them to imagine and deeply perceive these concepts.
You should say in practice although in practices is acceptable. Secondly, deeply does not go with perceive. You should say clearly perceive, or deeply absorb/ assimilate.
[..] in turn they may drop out of their universities
There should not be a subject here, so you have to leave out they
[..] they will resort to another amount of time, which otherwise is their leisure [..]
Putting a comma in front of which is likely to jeopardize the meaning of the whole sentence. To clarify it, you should say
They will have to make use of/ encroach on their own leisure time
or They will resort ot making use of some other time which is normally their leisure time
[..] in the long-run since students excessively work and study [..]
It should be "in the long run" since I have never come across the hyphenated version of this phrase :D. You should make it if students (overly) work and study excessively.
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The lasting impression you make on me is still your good grasp of vocabulary and grammar as well as your writing skills.
I know I maybe a little too nitpick.
And since I don't know much about the IELTS writing, i.e how this section is scored, I can't tell if such slight improvements positively affect your grade or not. Nonetheless, I hope these corrections would better your work.
Good luck.