Đề thi IELTS - 07/02/2015 - Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people... [closed]

Question

Topic IELTS của tuần này  07/02/2015:

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people.

Why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places?

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Hạn chót nộp bài sẽ là 12h trưa sáng thứ 7 tuần này nhé :)

Have fun !

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Bài mẫu Band 8.0 cho đề Task 2 tuần này: 07/02/2015 đến từ IPP IELTS

Tourists are generally drawn to museums and historical locations when visiting new countries. However, records have shown local people’s low attendance at these attractions. Some explanations will be put forward before solutions can be drawn to tackle this problem.

There are several reasons as to why tourists, instead of the local people, come to museums and historical places. First, these locations can provide visitors with a comprehensive overview of the traditions in the particular locality they are situated. As a result, such destinations are generally more appealing to the newcomers than to the locals, those without the need to familiarise themselves with the traditional values of the region. Moreover, because the layout of museums and historical houses is likely to remain unchanged through years, they can be visually unattractive to the local inhabitants, who may have been to these sites for at least once in their younger years.

Several measures can be prompted to promote locals’ attendance rate at buildings for historic relics and museums. The main solution is to change the public’s perception of such places as sites for only monotonous activities. Should civic events including weddings, anniversaries and concerts be allowed to be held in these locations, they would attract substantial public attention to historical values. Another resolution is that historians and preservationists should be featured more frequently on the media, with their articles on the tremendous worth of museums and historical remains.

To conclude, historical areas and museums can be uninteresting for local citizens because they can be too familiar with the culture that these places depict. To better this, there should be more media coverage on historical assets, and also more open-door policies to use such locations as spots for more public-oriented activities.

 

Answer 1

Các bạn đọc thử và đánh giá dùm mình 

It is true that today there are more foreign travellers visiting a country’s historical sites and monuments than local residents. I believe there are several reasons for this, and actions need to be taken by governments in order to promote these sites.

The fact that local people feel less interested in visiting museums and cultural landmarks is due to many factors. The first factor is that these places may have become extremely familiar with people in the area as they have visited them many times. Changes in attitudes and interest of local residents can also play a role. For example, artefacts showcased in museums may be fascinating for elderly people, but young people nowadays may prefer something that is exciting and lively. Finally, foreign visitors might often be the ones who are curious about other countries’ cultural attractions, and they might not have many chances in their life to travel overseas. Moreover, they not only go abroad for holiday but also for exploring foreign cultures and history.

Despite this trend, measures can be taken to enhance local inhabitants' interest in these sites. Firstly, schools can encourage their students to learn about national culture, values and history by organising educational excursion trips to historical sites and museums. This might create an entertaining and relaxing environment for children to learn, and hence foster their interest in local heritage. Secondly, governments should make more investment in preserving historical sites and improving facilities of local museums. This is because deterioration in infrastructures is likely to make these important places unattractive to local inhabitants.

In conclusion, there are several reasons why less local people visit historical sites, however, steps can be taken to mitigate this problem.

Comments

<<I believe there are several reasons for this, and actions need to be taken by governments in order to promote these sites>>
You should separate these two clauses and join them by some transition words such as: in addition, additionally, furthermore,etc; or you can simply leave out the words "I believe"
<< In conclusion, there are several reasons why less local people visit historical sites, however, steps can be taken to mitigate this problem>>
Here you should do the same as above, if possible, with a slight emphasis on the closing sentence.
On balance, your essay is well-written and well-supported in addition to having a good overall structure.
Relatively few errors are made.    
You make wise and good choices of vocabulary as well as constructions.
I'll give a score of 7.3 :D
Good luck to you!

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Well done. I just think of some collocations you used in the text. The word like "mitigate" does it go with "problems"? I think that this word collocate strongly with circumstances and factors. May I wrong

Answer 2

Historical places, such as museums, are of great importance to human's mental life. As a matter of fact, almost visitors are foreigners, not indigenous residents. In this essay, I will elucidate this practice in detail and outline several feasible solutions to it.

Central to any explanation, visitors' attitude towards museums is worth mentioning. Foreign tourists are inspired by museums, which cultivate their passion for local region's historical and cultural values. Local residents, on the other hand, are accustomed to their own museum so they are less attracted. They make for foreign destinations with a view to discovering anomalies and obtaining distinct experiences. Futhermore, they may assume that paying a visit to historical landmarks in their neighborhood is possible whenever they want. Thus, it is put off over and over again. Museums and historical sites have run the risk of being downgraded, which is also attributed to a decrease in the number of  not only foreign visitors but native visitors as well.

Dealing with these obstacles constitutes a real challenge, but not an impasse. There are 3 approaches which I think should be prioritised.First, scholastic extracurricular activities with respect to museums should be executed in order to stimulate children's amenity of history. Second, multi-media should make public for historical sites and museums to exhort people to visit them. Last, authority should spend more money on conserving and maintaining their aesthetical, historical and cultural values to attract tourists.

In short, I believe that historical landmarks, like museums, monuments,...etc will become the most fascinating destination if admisnistered well.

Comments

Thầy ơi, bài của em rate cao nhất mà sao vẫn chưa được chữa ạ?

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<<As a matter of fact, almost visitors are foreigners, not indigenous residents>>
Correct: almost/ virtually/nearly all (the) visitors.
To improve this sentence, you could word the last phrase as follows:
[..] and scarcely/ barely/ hardly/ etc.
<<Centrally to any explanation..[..]>>
Correct: Central to any explanation
<<Thus, it is put off over and over again>>
You'd better avoid using colloquial phrases when you're working on an academic assignment.
<<[..] stimulate children's amenity of history>>
I think you should rephrase it as "history amenities for children"
<<[..] multi-media should make public for historical sites [..]>>
It'll be correct if you omit "for"
<<..aesthical..>>
There is a spelling mistake here
<< [..].the most fascinating destination.[..]>>
Correct: the most fascinating destinations
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Apart from occasional but non-critical errors, the rest are good. You made several attempts to use complex words and constructions. The ideas are good  and presented with acceptable clarity.

However, you should be careful about putting unfamiliar words in your essay. Although these words may serve to add color to your writing and also to display your abilities of employing lexical resources, it is essential that you have complete command of the words and show good judgement in using them.

My score for this essay is between 7-7.5

Best of luck!

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Cảm ơn bạn. bạn có thể giải thích dùm mình chỗ Centrally được không? mặc dù mình đã sửa theo bạn, nhưng mình vẫn nghĩ nếu nó là centrally thì đúng hơn so với central

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Nếu mình hiểu đúng ý bạn thì mình nghĩ là "visitors' attitude towards museums" is what every explanation needs to take into account.
Vậy thì "Central to every explanation" sẽ bổ nghĩa cho cái phrase theo sau đó.

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Bạn ạ, cả cái cụm phía sau dấu phẩy là một explanation, và nó là trung tâm của mọi explanation.bạn nghĩ sao nếu thay vào đó là một giới từ, ví dụ như firstly, hay initially,.. Ý mình là đấy là vị trí của một giới từ bạn ạ. Mình có hiểu ý bạn, nhưng sau khi sửa bài mình nghĩ lại thấy chỗ đó bạn chữa sai

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Nếu sửa như trên thì mình nghĩ sẽ chữa được cách hành văn của câu này, làm nó hợp lí về ngữ pháp và người khác còn đoán nghĩa câu đó ra được. Chứ để centrally, tức là một trạng từ ở chỗ đấy thì câu sẽ trở nên bất thường và tối nghĩa.

Answer 3

Rất mong được mọi người giúp đỡ

Recently, the most frequent visitors in many museums and historical sites have been tourists rather than local people. I believe this trend happened for some reasons and several actions can be taken to attract more local people to these places.

There are several reasons why local inhabitants do not have desires like those tourists have to visit museums and historical sites. Firstly, the exhibitions of these places tend to rarely change over time, so visits are more likely to become boring for those like local people who have seen them more than once. Secondly, visitors often have to pay some nominal fees such as tickets for admission or parking fees, and this could ruin people’s eagerness for the visits. Tourists easily accept this probably because they are curious about the landmark of a new region.

Several measures can be employed to increase the number of local visitors. One measure is that institutions like museums should update their collection more frequently so that the services they offer provide some new value for customers. They could also carry out some transformations in the way they present the exhibits in order to avoid tediousness. Another approach for museums and historical sites is to repeal regulations of charging small fees. This would help these places to obtain the favour of local residents, which would lead to a rise in the number of visits as an obvious result.

In conclusion, several efficient solutions can be taken to renew interest of local residents in museums and historical sites.

Comments

:) thank bạn, mình nghĩ tiếng việt rồi cố dịch ra tiếng anh thôi..bài nè đầu tiên mình viết lạc đề mà, sau rồi mới chỉnh lại theo hướng bài mẫu của thầy ý @@

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lỗi ngữ pháp nè. Cấu trúc "like"(giống như) đi với N hoặc V-ing thôi bạn ạ, thay vì dùng like phải dùng as cơ:)

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Bạn Ashley tham khảo nhé. Thoughtful evidence is requisite.

http://dictionary.cambridge.org/grammar/british-grammar/as-or-like

Answer 4

Mong các bạn góp ý giùm :D

Museums and historical sites currently play an indispensable part of the country. However, they are  basically visited by foreign tourists rather than by native people. Personally, there are a variety of solutions for this situation which has the main reason related to the habit of people.

It is reasonable that learning the culture as well as the history of the country is thought to be a leading aim of visiting the cultural and historical destinations. Local people, who seem to be not only highly familiar with their customs but also knowledgeable about the old days of their country, are taking them for granted. Otherwise, tourists are eager to discover various typical characteristics of the nation that they travel to, such as the tradition of its citizens and the national heroes, by visiting museums, monuments and galleries so that they can widely boost their horizon. Thus, it is factual that these locations are annually appealing to more overseas tourists than the native people.

To tackle this problem productively, the authorities should implement several positive changes. Firstly, they can draw the attention from the local people by organising gameshows, concerts or conferences in the folk spots. Apart from sightseeing numerous historical artifacts, they are more likely to participate in the leisure activities to escape from their daily life. In addition, the government can reduce the price of entrance ticket of these sites to provide the natives, especially poor people, with an opportunity to visit them. Besides, the officials possibly use the Internet and magazines as a means of advertisement of these places to drive its citizens to be interested in them.

In conclusion, the government ought to carry out separate feasible measures to efficiently address the issue that its residents are ignoring the ethnic and historical spots of their country.

Comments

Vì mình k phải examiner hay thuộc hàng expert, nhưng cũng mang tiếng học chuyên nên mình chỉ có thể góp ý cho bạn vài lỗi nhỏ nhặt thôi.
-Ở para 2 đó bạn, bạn đặt topic sentence ở đâu? theo như mình hiểu thì bạn đang viết quy nạp, nghĩa là topic sent được đặt ở câu cuối. Topic sentence thường chỉ ra trực tiếp ý chính của đoạn.Đảo nó lên đầu thì dễ hiểu hơn nhiều.
-Bài viết sử dụng nhiều danh từ hay danh động từ sẽ đc đánh giá cao hơn cấu trúc S+v thông thường. và cố gắng viết càng súc tích càng tốt, nhiều câu mình để ý là bạn diễn đạt khá lan man. Ví dụ nha:"Besides, the officials possibly use the Internet and magazines as a means of advertisement of these places to drive its citizens to be interested in them." mình đề nghị chuyển thành kiểu kiểu như này:"Besides, these places should be advertised via Internet and magazines to popularise themselves among residents"
- cấu trúc bị động tốt hơn chủ động.

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Bạn xem bài chữa ở link sau nhé!
http://scholarshipplanet.info/check/2370/de-thi-ielts-ngay-7-2-2015-bai-problem-solution-band-5-0-cua-ban-totoro

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thanks bạn nha :D

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Em cảm ơn thầy Tú Phạm IPP ạ :D. Em sẽ cố gắng khắc phục mấy lỗi đó ạ :)

Answer 5

Mong các bạn sửa giúp ạ!

 

Visitors, apparently, come to museums and historical locations almost are tourists. In the another site of the coin, those places are quite less attractive for local residents. In my opinion, there are some reasons are leading to this problem and it is necessary  to be tackled.

The fact of the matter is actually curious tourists want to take the chance to get more knowledge through the overview of history of the place they are sojourning, what are still remained at museums and other historical areas.  Moreover, the ring of traditions is existing around local inhabitants in every details of their lives. As the result, locals pay less attention to sites related to history due to the familarities of values, folks or norms.

Serving for purpose of promoting museums and historical relics, some measures can be applied. The main solution is updating collections along with creating creative exhibitions. People do not like the things are monotonous or outmoded. Should Government put more budget into renovating constructions of historical places such as temples, they would make locals impressive and raise public attention. Nowadays, services and advertisments take important roles in every fields of life, so taking advatages of media is the smart way to promote images for historical areas.

Historical sites and also museums are being unnoticed by local citizens. However, i believe that they can get more interesting under measures i set above.

Comments

I am impressed by your vocabulary use. The ideas are reasoning. However, you make errors in ADJECTIVE CLAUSES. For instance:

1/. You cannot use ;"there are some reasons ARE leading to this problem". You just need to cross out "ARE" to make this sentence correct.

2/.Don't use"...place they are sojourning, what are still...". You should write: "Places which they are sojourning and WHICH are still..."

3/.Don't use: " People do not like the things are monotonous or outmoded". You should say: "People do not like the things WHICH are...".

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Thank u very much:))