In some countries, shopping online is replacing shopping at stores. Do you think it is positive or negative?

Question

The radical development of the Internet has enabled us to change several traditional practices such as purchasing products online instead of buying at stores. While many people postulate that this change is a breakthrough, others oppose it. In my opinion, I agree with the latter idea owing to several following reasons

The customers can be deceived through shopping online.  To perform the transaction, the buyer have to transfer the money to the seller before receiving the goods, which are risky. It is not sure that the sellers sell the products as they advertised online. In fact, many cases have been recorded, in which the sellers shipped  low quality goods or tawdry or even no shipment to the purchasers. This situation might be exacerbated if the products sold online is foods or skincare products. These products can cause detrimental effects to their health.

In addition, shopping online also leads to the possibility that the personal information such as credit card numbers, pension accounts can be stolen. Those who commit such technical crime utilize this data to withdrawn the money from the customers’ accounts. Moreover, the emails or even social networks of the parties in these transactions might be hacked by publishing them on shopping online  websites.

Many people subscribe to the idea that the shopping through internet is much more time saving and convenient. This point has some merits on its surface, however, it is fallacious statement. We can save time or money but we might pay higher costs if we buy inferior goods which is deleterious to our health.

In conclusion, shopping online is a apparent trend in this busy world. However, the traditional shopping practice cannot be replaced. The customers should be wiser and more careful when shopping online.

Answer 1

Hi :))

I must say that ur essay is really good : strong argument, good vocabulary, clearly stated ideas and various structure

To me this one deserves 7.5 - 8

Hope that u post more then i can broaden my mind :)

Answer 2

Hi, cụm từ 'shopping online' dùng khoảng 4 lần, cộng 1 lần trong câu hỏi là 5, nếu bạn paraphrase thêm chút thì hiệu quả sẽ càng cao.
Chúc bạn thành công!

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