In some countries, online shopping is replacing shopping in stores. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Question

The state-of- the art digital revolution has been a major drive of the burgeoning number of online shoppers in recent years, accounting for the gradual replacement of physical stores. Embedded in this essay is the idea that such change will have a profoundly positive affect on people’s lives.

On the one hand, the main contribution to an increase in prevalence of electronic method of purchasing goods is its convenience. Consumers are possible to merchandise items from the comfort of their homes or workplaces. Online shopping is also made it easier for them to cancel transacion. Secondly, aleviating the pressure of shopping on consumers is a main concern. Generally, in physically store, the shoppers are liable to be swayed to buy items by the sales representatives, whereas with shopping online experience, they can buy the goods of their own choice,

On the other hand, some traditionalists might oppose the idea of purchasing goods online for 2 main reasons. Firstly, lacking close examinations of the products deters people from merchandising items. The electronic images of the products may be misleading, which do not match with their physical appearances and quality in terms of the colours, sizes, materials… Moreover, a sense of fulfilment of going shopping physically will stimulate buyers to choose conventional shopping method. For example, physical stores allow price negotiations between sellers and buyers. Or else, they are possible to experience show- room atmosphere, scent and sound that they cannot witness through their computer screen.

In conclusion, I am of the opinion that ecommerce can bring about a number of benefits to human beings, which is sufficient to gain ground worldwide, although this trend entails some drawbacks.

Answer 1

The state-of-the art digital revolution has been a major drive of the burgeoning number of online shoppers in recent years, accounting for the gradual replacement of physical stores. Embedded in this essay is the idea that such change will have a profoundly positive effect (affect is a verb) on people’s lives.

On the one hand, the main contribution to an the increase in prevalence of electronic method of purchasing goods is its convenience. (To be more precise/To put it simply,) consumers are possible to merchandise items from the comfort of their homes or workplaces. (Moreover,) online shopping is also made it easier for them to cancel transacion transaction. Secondly, aleviating alleviating the pressure of shopping on consumers is a main concern. Generally, in physically physical store, the shoppers are liable to be swayed to buy items by the sales representatives, whereas with shopping online experience, they can buy the goods of their own choice.

On the other hand, some traditionalists might oppose the idea of purchasing goods online for 2 two main reasons. Firstly, lacking close examinations of the products deters people from merchandising items. The electronic images (?) of the products may be misleading be misled, which do not match with their physical appearances and quality in terms of the colours, sizes, materials… Moreover, a sense of fulfilment of going shopping physically will stimulate buyers to choose conventional shopping method. For example, physical stores allow price negotiations between sellers and buyers. Or else, they are possible to experience show-room atmosphere, scent and sound that they cannot witness through their computer screen.

In conclusion, I am of the opinion that e-commerce can bring about a number of benefits to human beings, which is sufficient to gain ground worldwide, although this trend entails some drawbacks.

 

General feedback : Need more linking phrases and be careful with spelling. Average band score is around 6.5.

This feedback only based on personal experience, if there is any confusion please let me know. Good luck !

Comments

thank you so much!