Cam 9, Task 2, Test 1: Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantage outweigh its disadvantage [closed]

Question

Some experts claim that learning a foreing language at primary school is better than secondary school. while it has some undeniable drawbacks, I could suggest that the children should begin learning the second language from being at primary school.

starting learning foreign language at the early age has many advantages for the primary students. Firstly, learning any language other their mothertongue is just a process of repeating and repeating again the words, phrases, sentences and being also familar with grammar. They are in control of them to remember and use them regularly in many situaations to form natural reaction of that language. Otherwise, almost the primary students have no pressure to learn so hardly is there treat in exam instead really learn. Secondly, it is better for the children to have more time to practice when they approach the foreign language soon. Those students will own completely that second language better than others starting at the secondary school. Additional, children have more chances in their life to take advantage of the foreign language which they master.

Nevertheless, we can not deny some disadvantages of learning a foreign language at secondary school. If  teachers at primary school are not good enough to teach, children easily have some fundamental mistakes which are very difficult to fix. In the another hand, the children at primary school does not have as much awareness of the importance of owning the second language as those of secondary school.

In conclusion, learning a foreign language at secondary school have some shortcoming above but I truly believe that the children should start learning other language at primary.
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Answer 1

1) Nhìn chung bài của bạn có những supporting ideals hay nhưng có khá nhiều sai sót nhỏ về chính tả:

dòng 1: foreign

dòng 5: mother tongue

dòng 6: familiar

dòng 13: cannot 

2) ngữ pháp: 

learning a foreign language at secondary school have some shortcoming -> has

In the another hand, the children at primary school does not have as much awareness of the importance of owning the second language as those of secondary school. -> on the other hand

3) hai đoạn thân bài nên có độ dài cân đối, một số từ có thể academic hơn như important part -> substantial part và nhiều cụm khác

Thân

 

 

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