Some people think that women should be allowed to join army, the navy and the air force just like men. What extent do you agree or disagree?

Question

The gender balance right has been considered as an important rule in the contemporary world. This is leading to a debate on whether female soldiers should be accepted or not. It could be true that women should not attend in the military, but I believe that the army should allow women to participate.

 

Some sate that women are not strong enough to undertake missions in a battlefield, so it is risk to let them being in the military. In army, works usually require strength like caring weapon or mounting guard over the base, so women could not do these works. Similarly, if women join in battling action, female soldiers can easier have been arrested by rivals than men because of weak physical strength. This does not only risk these female soldiers’ life, but also their peers’ life who could attempt to rescue them. Therefore, it must be safer if women stay at home and support male soldiers.

 

On the contrary, I believe that there are no real evidences showing that women cannot do military missions. In fact, there are many historical records of female soldiers. In China, for instance, Mulan is a famous soldier taking army responsibility for her father and has become an example of women’s strength. This proves that women could succeed in the battlefield. Likewise, women also have their love with their mother land, so nobody can bar them from defending their home land. It will go back on the gender equal right, if women cannot perform their love with their country by physical acts rather than spirit advocate.

 

In sum, I strongly suggest that women should be permitted to carry their army mission out that could be a good way to protect the country as well as respect women right.

Answer 1

I like your essay because it is clear and cohesio and the support idea is interesting. But one thing i wonder is the topic is "some people think that women should be allowed to join army, the navy and the air force just like men", so i think your introduce should change such as: it is true that in some forces don't like women but i believe woman should be allowed to joint the army= i agree with the idea, then in the body the first paragrap you tell the reason why some forces don't like women and the two you protect your idea.

Comments

Thanks for your help. I'll try my best to improve my next essay base on your comment.