Some people believe that a country will benefit greatly if its students study abroad. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Question

Many people say that it is highly beneficial if students have opportunities to pursue their education in foreign countries. I completely agree with this opinion, and this essay will explain the most compelling reasons to support my argument.


On the one hand, there are many benefits for young people if they study overseas. Firstly, this helps them to boost their confidence and be more independent. By learning in other nations, they would have to get out of their comfort zone to familiarize themselves with a totally different living environment. Secondly, it is a good chance for these young individuals to improve their language skills thanks to communicating with native speakers on a daily basis. Finally, students could make friends with many other international learners. This would potentially help them to establish business relationships with foreign partners in the future.


On the other hand, having many students being educated overseas could be advantageous to society as a whole. The most obvious merit is that most of the students would go back to their hometowns to contribute to their nations’ development. That would make the workforce in their countries more productive, resulting in higher rates of economic growth. In addition, they could bring new technologies which could be useful for society. For instance, many youngsters who have a foreign degree in environmental engineering tend to have excellent knowledge about green technology which could be applied to solve many environmental problems in their home countries.


In conclusion, I strongly believe that having young people studying abroad is greatly beneficial for both individuals and society.

Answer 1

I would like to get some of your sentences clear and concise.

"Many people say that it is highly beneficial if students have opportunities to pursue their education in foreign countries."

This sentence is unclear since we do not know whom it is beneficial to. You would want to say:

"Many people say that it is highly beneficial to students if they have opportunities to pursue their education in foreign countries."

Another:

"Firstly, this helps them to boost their confidence and TO be more independent."

There is a missing preposition, and I would suggest another version which is more concise.

"Firstly, this helps them to boost their confidence and their independence."

Also:

"Secondly, it is a good chance for these young individuals to improve their language skills thanks to communicating with native speakers on a daily basis."

This expression is wordy since the same meaning can be conveyed as follows:

"Secondly, these young individuals can improve their language skills by regularly communicating with native speakers."

This can also be seen at:

"For instance, many youngsters who have a foreign degree in environmental engineering tend to have excellent knowledge about green technology which could be applied to solve many environmental problems in their home countries."

This sentence can be written in fewer words, but with a little loss in meaning.

"For instance, youngsters with a foreign degree in environmental engineering can help solve many environmental problems in their home countries."

Next time, before writing out your ideas, try to somehow express them in as few words as possible.