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A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days, there are some people who argue that a culturally and ethnically diverse country will become more fascinating and make faster development. In my opinion, I totally agree with this viewpoint and will prevent my reason in this essay.

To commence with, the combination of individuals from distinct cultures in the same country really makes that country more interesting. It is because a citizen of multicultural country can enjoy a variety of traditions, cuisines, and costumes from different countries at the same time. For example, when people live in the USA which is a significant cosmopolitan society of the world, they are able to try all kinds of food ranging from Western to Eastern dishes. Moreover, they can also enjoy people wearing clothes from various cultures when they are on the street, which really adds spice to life.

In addition, when a country accommodates people of various nationalities, it is more likely to experience faster of growth. People coming from different nations will have different logic and thought process. Therefore, when they are combined in a mutual working place, they are able to discuss and think up different unique ideas for a project or coming up with brilliant solutions to problems concurring. This helps entrepreneurs develop quickly and thus, contributing to the economic growth of the whole country. For example, people from Asian countries often perform better at mathematics, while people from European ones are excellent at engineering skills. When collaborating with each other, they might create break ground ideas for the company and the country where they lived at the same time.

To conclude, I believe that, thanks to the diversity of cultures, a country's daily life becomes much more exciting and simultaneously, the harmony of people from different nationalities will help a country prosper faster.

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"a culturally and ethnically diverse country" might be a bit confusing and thus should be "a country with cultural and ethnic diversity".

"To commence with, the combination of individuals from distinct cultures in the same country really makes that country more interesting."

When you said "the same country", had you mentioned one specific country ? May be a culturally and ethnically diverse country, but it makes little sense that the combination of individuals from distinct cultures in a culturally and ethnically diverse country, right? Change it into "a country" for preciseness.

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
đã góp ý cách đây bởi (24 điểm)
sửa nội dung cách đây bởi
Thank you for your feedback! I will try to fix it.
I think I should clarify the first advice. You can follow the link to see an example for the word "diverse" https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/diverse :

"New York is a very culturally/ethnically diverse city."

If you simply say New York is a very culturally diverse city, it can be implied that New York is also diverse for its ethnicity; and vice versa, of course.

Therefore, I would recommend that you keep one adverb out of the two and dispose of the remaining one. If you insist on your construction or your intended meaning, however, you can say New York is a very diverse city for the/its culture and ethnicity.
I am truly grateful for your help, hope you will support me in my next essays.

Update: Từ 30/4 Điểm bạn tích lũy được trên CWMP sẽ dùng để đổi quà (vé xem CGV (100 điểm/1 vé, thẻ cào điện thoại 150 điểm/thẻ 50k, khóa học IELTS Online (300 điểm/khóa 3 tháng)
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