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Topic: http://www.ielts-exam.net/academic_writing_samples_task_1/625/

This is the first essay of mine, please help me correct it. Thank you so much

The given line-chart compares the quantity of wheat exports over three areas, namely: Australia, Canada and Euro Community in the five consecutive years from 1985 to 1990.

Overall, Exports from Australia experienced a downturn whilst European Community witnessed an upward trend in wheat exports. Interestingly, There was a fluctuation in Canada during the period shown.

As can be seen in details .In 1985, Australia exported 15 million of tonnes, followed by a insignificant growth to 16 million in the next year. After that; however, there was a gradual decline until 1990, standing at somewhere in the vicinity of 11 million tonnes.

In contrast, The wheat sold abroad of Euro Community was standing at approximately 17 million of tonnes in 1985, then it declined moderately in the next year. After that, they witnessed a slight rise in next two years, before reaching a peak in 1990, standing over 20 million of tones, the highest level among three areas in this year.

In addition, Canada was the biggest exporter in three areas in 1985. After experiencing a steep drop in 1986, the amount of wheat export rocketed to 25 million of tonnes in 1988, this was the highest level among three areas during the period shown. Afterwards, it fell dramatically to the lowest level in 1989. Finally, there was a recovery of the Canada’s wheat export in 1990, as same as the size in 1985.
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2 Answers

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I think that you can improve one of your skills in writing by "punctuation and capitalization." Remember you only capitalize the first letter of a word as follows:

- The beginning word of a paragraph

- The begining word of a sentence

- Property nouns

- Months of year
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58 points
1 vote
1 vote
In line 7, I think you should put another object in the sentence " there was a gradual decline IN "what?" until1990"
And in the final paragraph, I think you should show more statistics, especially in the year 1985 (because it was shown twice but no paticular number=> hard to imagine).
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5 points