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Nowadays, some universities are facing different opinions about substantial alterations in new education. Some people consider that students should study whatever they like.Otherwise, others think that students only need to learn useful subjects related to science or technology. However, I believe intensely that it is better for students to choose favourite subjects.

  On the one hand, there are various reasons why people reckon that universities should only offer subjects that will be beneficial in the future. Firstly,schools can look for potential students earlier for scientific fields which make huge prospects to increase the resource of professional labour as well as impulse innovations in developing competition among countries. Secondly, although Science or technology are awkward topics, it facilitates young learners to improve effectively mental powers and thinking ability. Because in some US schools, a few students focusing on this subjects invariably get high score on IQ tests.

   On the other hand, I still perceive that when students are able to study something they are passionate, they will spend more time to concentrate on coming up with outstanding ideas at the touch of a button. Therefore, they can enhance themselves capability and gain accomplishments. For example, thanks to university’s acceptance, my best friend leaps at an opportunity to pursue her musical dream , then she really becomes a renowned singer. Additionally, students can have strong inspiration and motivation to research favourite work productively and elaborately, so they completely access in-depth knowledge more quickly. Last but not least, if students are allowed to select favourite subjects, they will enjoy an exhilaration in life and avoid being strain when studying intricate subjects.

   In conclusion, both arguments have distinct merits. Notwithstanding, in my mind, studying whatever students love is a superior way which should be given teaching programs.
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Nowadays, some universities are facing different opinions about substantial alterations in new education. Some people consider that students should study whatever they like.Otherwise=> , while others think that students only need to learn useful subjects related to science or technology. However=> Personally, I believe intensely that it is better for students to choose favourite subjects.

  On the one hand, there are various reasons why people reckon that universities should only offer subjects that will be beneficial in the future. Firstly,schools can look for potential students earlier for scientific fields which make huge prospects to increase the resource of professional labour as well as impulse innovations in developing competition among countries. Secondly, although Science or technology are awkward topics, it facilitates young learners to improve effectively mental powers and thinking ability=> intellectual abilities. Because in some US schools, a few students focusing on this=> these subjects invariably get high score on IQ tests.

   On the other hand, I still perceive that when students are able to study something they are passionate, they will spend more time to concentrate on coming up with outstanding ideas at the touch of a button. Therefore, they can enhance themselves capability and gain accomplishments. For example, thanks to university’s acceptance, my best friend leaps at an opportunity to pursue her musical dream , then she really becomes a renowned singer. Additionally, students can have strong inspiration and motivation to research favourite work productively and elaborately, so they completely access in-depth knowledge more quickly. Last but not least, if students are allowed to select favourite subjects, they will enjoy an exhilaration in life and avoid being strain=> strained when studying intricate subjects.

   In conclusion, both arguments have distinct merits. Notwithstanding, in my mind, studying whatever students love is a superior way which should be given teaching programs.

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+1 phiếu

INTRODUCTION 

1, Nowadays, some universities are facing different opinions about (1) substantial alterations in new education.

- (1) people combine the verb face with challenges or other bigger issues more often. It should be rewritten opinions are divided as to

2, Some people consider that students should study whatever they like (1). Otherwise, others think that students only need to learn useful subjects related to science or technology (2)

- (1) This sentence is totally copied from the topic card. You have to paraphrase it.
- (2) There are other useful subjects related to humanity. The definition of a useful subject should not be limited to only STEM ones.
- You should use a complex sentence instead of separating into two unacademic single sentences. Consider my suggestion: Some people opine that it should be up to students to choose their favourite subjects, whereas others suggest that they be obliged to study only practical subjects.
4, 
However, I believe intensely (1) that it is better for students to choose favourite subjects. (2)

- (1) completely believe 

- (2) to avoid repetition, try another wording like the former approach/method is better than the latter OR the former approach is (more) optimal.

- I see your body paragraphs discuss both sides, so your thesis statement is not proper. It should be rewritten Both approaches/methods are acceptable to certain extent, but I completely believe the former one is better/more optimal

 

BODY 1:

1Firstly, schools can look for potential students earlier for scientific fields (1) which make huge prospects to increase the resource of professional labour (2) as well as impulse innovations in developing competition among countries.

- (1) Again, you are denying the role of other social subjects. Scientific fields should only be used as an example instead.

- (2) this should be your argument, and its supporting point is the example in scientific fields. Consider my suggestion Firstly, this approach provides prospects for professional labor in the workplace in the future. For example, the number of expert workers in scientific fields is often proportional to that of innovations in developing competition among countries.

2, Secondly, although Science or technology are (1) awkward topics, it facilitates (2) young learners to improve effectively (3) mental powers and thinking ability (4). Because in some US schools, a few students focusing on this (5) subjects invariably get high score on IQ test

- (1) mandatory useful subjects

- (2) they are selected as they facilitate

(3) effectively improve

- (4) intellectual ability

(5) these

- (6) You should mention the benefit of having high IQ scale in life
 

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BODY 2

1, On the other hand, I still perceive that when students are able to study something they are passionate (1), they will spend more time to concentrate (2) on coming up with outstanding ideas at the touch of a button.

- This paragraph has no topic sentence. Your first sentence should be used as an argument following your opinion on the approach. Write the topic sentence as you did in body 1, remember to paraphrase it.
- (1) + about

- (2) collocation: spend time (in) Ving

2, Therefore, they can enhance themselves capability (1) and gain accomplishments.

- (1) maybe a grammatical error, because I do not understand what you mean. Try another wording

3, For example ... my best friend leaps at an ...

=> NEVER USE PERSONAL EXAMPLE IN ACADEMIC WRITING

4, will enjoy an exhilaration (1) in life and avoid being strain (2) when studying intricate subjects.

- (1) uncountable noun => no an

- (2) being strained 

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Update: Từ 30/4 Điểm bạn tích lũy được trên CWMP sẽ dùng để đổi quà (vé xem CGV (100 điểm/1 vé, thẻ cào điện thoại 150 điểm/thẻ 50k, khóa học IELTS Online (300 điểm/khóa 3 tháng)
Đăng ký quy đổi điểm tại: Form đổi điểm lấy quà"

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