The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.

Question

The given pie charts compare the percentage of technological equipment which were utilized by young people in canada to watch TV programs in 2009 and 2019.

Overall, what stands out from the graph is that while the number of mobile phone, tablet and flat-screen TV increased, the figures for laptop, desktop computer and conventional TV decreased over the period of 10 years.

Looking at the details, the percentage of Mobile phone and Tablet for viewing purposes went up considerably to 26% and 19% in 2019 respectively. Similarly, there was a significant upward trend in the proportion of Flat-screen TV utilizing by young people from 8% to 27%, making it the top television device at the end of the period.

On the other hand, while the most significant percentage of Conventional TV utilized for seeing TV at the beginning of the period, this is  the least popular mode of technological equipment in 2019, accounting for 32% and 4% respectively. The period of 2009 and 2019 witnessed a decrease in the percentage of Laptop and Desktop computer used for the TV viewing by the 18-25 age by 8% and 6% correspondingly.

Answer 1

The given pie charts compare the percentage of technological equipment which were was utilized by young people in canada Canada to watch watching TV programs in 2009 and 2019.

Overall, what stands out from the graph graphs is that while the number numbers of mobile phone, tablet and flat-screen TV increased, the figures for laptop, desktop computer and conventional TV decreased over the period of 10 years.

Looking at the details, the percentage of Mobile phone and Tablet (why did ya capitalize names of those devices?) for viewing purposes went up considerably to 26% and 19% in 2019 respectively (two adv in the same clause-> no necessary). Similarly, there was a significant upward trend in the proportion of Flat-screen TV utilizing untilized (passive voice) by young people from 8% to 27%, being the top television device at the end of the period.

On the other hand, while the most significant percentage of Conventional TV utilized for seeing TV at the beginning of the period (?), this is the least popular mode of technological equipment in 2019, accounting for 32% and 4% respectively. The period of 2009 and 2019 witnessed a decrease in the percentage of Laptop and Desktop computer used for the TV viewing by of the 18-25 age by 8% and 6% correspondingly.

- Where is your conclusion of the essay?

- DON'T CAPITALIZE the names of devices, please!

- check your grammar carefully.