Bài IELTS Task 2 Academic - Protecting wild animal

Question

          Some people believe the idea that it is pointless to spend money on protecting wild animals because it doesn’t give us any benefits. To me, I completely disagree with this point of view.

          From my perspective, it is unreasonable to say that wild animal has no place in the 21^st century. I completely do not agree that the planet Earth was created only for the benefits of humans, and it is absurd to allow the extinction of any species in the world. Overmore, there is no certain reason why we should let animals die out. We do not need to destroy every square metre of land in order to feed or satisfy us; there are many other possible solutions to exists side by side with wild animals -  this is our aim.

          I also disagree with the idea that protecting wild animals wastes lots of resources. It is the protection of natural habitats and ensures the wild animals’ survival. Furthermore, many scientists agree that nature has very important standing in human life. For example, forests produce oxygen, stabilizing the Earth’s climate. If we destroy these lands, the costs that we will receive is very sky-high! No oxygen. No stable climate. We can not keep humans survive safely. By protecting wild animals and their habitats, we would maintain the survival of all life on Earth.

          In a nutshell, we have no right to decide whether or not wild animals should exist, and I strongly believe that we should do everything we can to protect the wild animals and their habitats.

(259 từ)

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Thiện

Answer 1

 Some people believe the idea that it is pointless to spend money ( có thể dùng cụm từ it is time-consuming and wasteful of money)on protecting wild animals because it doesn’t give us any benefits. To me, I completely disagree with this point of view.

          From my perspective, it is unreasonable to say that wild animal has no place in the 21^st century. I completely do not agree ( tránh lỗi lặp từ nên dùng I am opposed to this viewpoint) that the planet Earth was created only for the benefits of humans ( tránh lặp từ benefits dùng only for the sake of humans , and it is absurd to allow the extinction of any species in the world ??? (to push the animals to the brink of extinction). Overmore, Moreover, there is no certain reason why we should let animals die out. We do not need to destroy every square metre of land ( It is unecessary to detroy natural habitats of animals in order to feed or satisfy us  ( satisfy our demands); there are many other possible solutions to exists live in hamorny side by side with wild animals -  this is our aim.

          I also disagree with (bạn lạm dụng quá nhiều cụm từ này) the idea that protecting wild animals wastes lots of resources. It is the protection of natural habitats and ensures the wild animals’ survival. Furthermore, many scientists agree that nature has very important standing  plays an significant role in human life. For example, forests produce oxygen, stabilizing the Earth’s climate ( bạn có thể dùng cụm stablizing ecological balance). If we destroy these lands, the costs that we will receive is very sky-high! ( we have to pay off with very hight costs). No oxygen. No stable climate. ( Nên nối hai câu trên lại: We would be suffer from oxygen shortage and extreme climate events). We can not keep humans survive safely. (  In adition, our survival would be put in jeopardy.)By protecting wild animals and their habitats, we would maintain the survival of all life on Earth.

          In a nutshell, ( cụm này chỉ nên dùng trong văn nói dùng In conclusion,)we have no right to decide whether or not wild animals should exist, and I strongly believe that we should do everything we can to protect the wild animals and their habitats. to promote animal rights and conserve their environment. 
Bài này bạn còn viết theo kiểu văn nói và lặp nhiều cụm từ, ý chưa rõ ràng cụ thể.Mình đánh giá 5.0, cố gắng học nhiều cụm từ và chữa lỗi lặp ý. Chúc bạn học tốt nhé.