It is a fact that television together with newspaper play essential roles in transmitting information to people across the globe, especially in rural regions. Therefore, some suggestions are offered that those kinds of communication media had better be under government’s control to make sure the degree of accuracy in report. In my opinion, if this approach was put in reality, would bring many merits for societies.
Admittedly, if inexact knowledge as well as advertisements were limited by governmental institution, this would help people adapt the quality information. There are many instances of purchasing low value products owing to overstate ads (không nên viết tắt trong essay). In other words, the advertised enterprises do not go an inspection tour about the items which could be harmful to consumer’s health. This issue might lead to the problem that people need a warranty of political organizations.
Another noticeable advantage of managing television programs is that the words in children channels which have a deep influence on children’s development could be controlled. For instance, there are many channels in western nations using “beep” sound to prevent kids learning bad words.
Additionally, news which citizens have read every day, particularly about politics ought to be examined so as to insure the truth of internal affairs in the own countries. This implies that if political reports are transferred in wrong ways that could cause confusion along with chaos in those lands.
In conclusion, television and newspaper should be kept under supervisory control due to the above reasons.
Feedbacks:
Your ideas are good, especially the third paragraph which is the most interesting highlight in your essay ( private idea, I love your point of view)
You should use more flexible the other structures in the writing to prevent the problem of repeating since it leads to boredom for examiner ( my teacher said ). It happens also with your words.
Ex: You used twice the opening way of each paragraph, which is putting adverb at the beginning. You can change into “In additional, ”
One more point, applying as many academic words as possible will bring back plus marks for you.
Some recommendation for you
be under control = be checked over = be verified
additionally = in additional = moreover…
inexact = imprecise