Mọi người sửa giúp mình bài Writing task 1 (bar chart) này nhé.

Question

The bar chart given compares three types of telephone calls: local - fixed line, national and international - fixed line and mobiles (all calls) in terms of the proportion of the total number of minutes (in billions) in the UK from 1995 to 2002.

Overall, it is clear that the proportion of people using the local - fixed line is the highest, ranging from 70 to 90 billion minutes. Besides, the national and international ones took the second position standing for 38 to 60 billion minutes. Obviously, the mobiles took up the smallest part (3 to over 40 billion minutes).

The trends of telephone usage changed during 8 years. In 1995, the number of minutes in using local - fixed line accounted for 70 billion minutes. The figure then continued to rise in the next few years and reached its peak at 90 billion minutes in 1999, the highest rate recorded in the chart, before a fall to 70 billion minutes in the year 2002. However, the trends of the other two kept increasing. There was a steady growth in the national and international calls from 38 to 61 billion minutes between 1995 and 2002. The most noticeable change is mobile calls, which is soared from 2 in 1995 to 46 billion minutes in 2002.

In sum, people used local - fixed line most in the UK, and the mobile calls were becoming popular.

 

Answer 1

You wrote: ... The trends of telephone usage changed during 8 years. In 1995, the number of minutes...

Feedback: Remember this rule. Use "for" for duration. Use "during" to mean "in the middle of". Use "since" with a starting point in the past. Revise: "for 8 years".

Error type: Preposition missing error

Suggestion: for 8 years

Comments

cảm ơn bạn nhé