18/09/2018 [IELTS trên máy tính] Task 2: Competitiveness is a positive quality for people in most societies. How does competitiveness affect individuals? Is it a positive or negative trend?

Question

Competitiveness is considered one of the reliable tools to measure people’s abilities in almost all nations across the globe. This essay will analyze the impacts of this phenomenon on each person and outline not only the advantage but also the disadvantage it brings to our society.
Every individual is affected possitively and negatively be the competence. First of all, it is the great motivation. This is because people have a tendency to pursue tertiary education and harness useful skills with a view to meeting indispensable requirements sought by almost every recruiters; otherwise, they lag behind the others. However, those who are highly competitive may be work-oriented people. It means that they tend to have heavier workload and hectic schedule, which can be considered as a culprit behind the loss of work-life balance, the reduction of family gathering tightening the family bond and mental illnesses including depression.
Besides, not only the development but also the adverse effect on relationships between people in our society needs to be equally paid attention to. In terms of the benefit, competiveness makes great contribution to the improvement of labour. According to the aforementioned idea, we will experience the growth of the number of those who are dregree holders and master interpersonal and personal skills for the job market. Nervertheless, the lack of solidarity can be attributed to the increasing competence. The reason is that people suppose that if they offer others support or cooporate with them, they may be surpassed.
All in all, competitiveness motivates individuals to improve themselves but it makes them withstand great work-related pressure. Meanwhile, although the well-qualified workforce is the benefit the society can reap, we also have to be faced with unhealthy relationships between people. (285 words)

Answer 1

Competitiveness is considered AS one of the reliable tools to measure people’s abilities in almost all nations across the globe. This essay will analyze the impacts of this phenomenon on each person and outline not only ITS ADVANTAGES but also the DISADVANTAGES it brings to our society.
Every individual is affected POSITIVELY and negatively BY the competence.(MÌNH NGHĨ LÀ LUẬN ĐIỂM CHƯA ĐƯỢC THUYẾT PHỤC: BẠN GIẢI THÍCH VỀ ADVANTAGES ĐOẠN NÀY MÀ LUẬN ĐIỂM LẠI CẢ LỢI ÍCH VÀ TÁC HẠI) First of all, it is the great motivation. This is because people have a tendency to pursue tertiary education and harness useful skills with a view to meeting indispensable requirements sought by almost every RECRUITER; otherwise, they WILL lag behind the others. However, those who are highly competitive may be work-oriented people. It means that they tend to have A HEAVY workload and hectic schedule, (which can be considered as a culprit behind the loss of work-life balance, the reduction of family gathering tightening the family bond and mental illnesses including depression.)-> mình thấy bạn nên phân tích tác hại này ở đoạn tiếp theo


Besides, not only the development but also the adverse effect on relationships between people in our society needs to be equally paid attention to. (In terms of the benefit, competiveness makes great contribution to the improvement of labour.) According to the aforementioned idea, we will experience the growth of the number of those who are DEGREE holders and MASTERING interpersonal and skills for the job market. Nervertheless, the lack of solidarity can be attributed to the increasing competence. The reason is that people suppose that if they offer others TO support or COOPERATE with them, they may be surpassed.


All in all, competitiveness NOT ONLY motivates individuals to improve themselves BUT ALSO makes them withstand great work-related pressure. Meanwhile, although the well-qualified workforce is the benefit the society can reap, we also have to FACE with unhealthy relationships between people. (285 words)

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