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With the pressures on today’s young people to succeed academically, some people believe that non-academic subjects at school (eg: physical education and cookery) should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

What young people should learn at the school to receive the most efficient results is always the topic of intense debate. In my opinion, i disagree with the point of the view that school council should remove non-academic subjects from traditional curriculum for some subjective reasons.


Firstly, the young can’t develop themself completely if they only focus on academic subjects. They need to be given spaces, environment to do exercise relating to physical activities such as: bonding, camping,.., which build their confidence and make them to socialise actively with their friends. Besides, outdoor activities bring for them the health, energy to learn academic subjects better. We can’t survive on this earth with only knowledge in book or hypothesis without soft skills. It is a pity for the young if they aren’t taught how to cook dinner for their family or don’t have ability to do housework because of weak health.


Secondly, we was born with different characters, along with different strengtheness. There are some student who are specializing in maths but there are others that are good at running. So, is it equal for the children since some nonsense reasons thwart them from actualizing their dreams if they like physical education? The children with dreams relating to sports seem not to be encouraged by the majority of their parents who totally pay attention on their academic ranks, which makes them create a negative attitude toward school learning and tent to lost their directions easily.


In conclusion, we should conduct researchs to find out the method of mixing academic subjects with non academic subjects instead of trying to remove one of them. The young should improve these at the same time to grow up in an optimum condition. And we need to try embark on resolving this problem that the child only focus on academic subjects and direct these children to combine sports and academic subjects reasonably.

 

Cảm ơn vì đã chữa bài cho mình nha..

 

 

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What young people should learn at the school to receive the most efficient results is always the topic of intense debate. In my opinion, i disagree with the point of the view that school council should remove non-academic subjects from traditional curriculum for some subjective reasons.

 

Firstly, the young can’t develop themself completely if they only focus on academic subjects. They need to be given spaces, environment to do exercise relating to physical activities such as: bonding, camping,.., which build their confidence and make them to socialise actively with their friends. Besides, outdoor activities bring for them the health, energy to learn academic subjects better. We can’t survive on this earth with only knowledge in book or hypothesis without soft skills. It is a pity for the young if they aren’t taught how to cook dinner for their family or don’t have ability to do housework because of weak health.

 

Secondly, we was born with different characters, along with different strengtheness. There are some student who are specializing in maths but there are others that are good at running. So, is it equal for the children since some nonsense reasons thwart them from actualizing their dreams if they like physical education? The children with dreams relating to sports seem not to be encouraged by the majority of their parents who totally pay attention on their academic ranks, which makes them create a negative attitude toward school learning and tent to lost their directions easily.

 

In conclusion, we should conduct researchs to find out the method of mixing academic subjects with non academic subjects instead of trying to remove one of them. The young should improve these at the same time to grow up in an optimum condition. And we need to try embark on resolving this problem that the child only focus on academic subjects and direct these children to combine sports and academic subjects reasonably.

 

1.Các lỗi màu vàng bạn xem lại về lỗi chia động từ, danh từ số ít số nhiều

2. outdoor activities bring for them the health, energy to learn academic subjects better.=> taking part in outdoor activities is a way to enance the physical and metal health to have more energy for learning academic subhects

3.nên sử dụng thêm nhiều phrases và các từ đồng nghĩa thay thế cho nhau

EX: the young- youngster- the youth- student- teenager,....

 

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Hai thảo ơi,,, t cảm ơn c nhiều vì sự góp ý quá tuyệt vời luôn, nhưng cái câu đỏ dài kia mình vẫn thắc mắc nó bị lỗi gì, c sửa giúp tớ với. t cảm ơn c nhiều.
Câu đấy ko sai nhưng bạn nên thay đổi cách diễn đạt bằng các cấu trúc khác để câu hay hơn
mình cảm ơn nhiều nhé :D

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