IELTS Writing Task 2(mình mới tập viết, mục tiêu là 5.0 mọi người chữa giúp mình xem có đủ 5.0 ko ạ)

Question

Essay topics:

Some people think that a huge a mount of time and money is spent on the protection of wild animals, and that this money could be better spent on the human population. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is argued that money which is spent on wildlife animals could be better spent on helping people. Personally, I believe that the protection of wildlife anymore extremely important and all countries need to invest money in preserving their native animal species

Firstly, a large of time and money is actually spent on protecting wild animals. For instance, a lot of charity organizations donate for people in each year in my country, in contrast, there are a few of charity fund spend on wildlife. In addition, almost much time and money which is spent on wild animals is from charity organizations. Therefore, we are not tell people that they should or should not donate their time and money for what or who.

Secondly, human  activity is no doubt the main cause of most problems wild animals face. The human race has continued to destroy planet and the natural habitats of wild animals and therefore should be responsible for protecting so that the can live and free. Another reason why people should use expenditure on wild animal is to preserve biodiversity. Some of the animals are essential for human . If they do not exist on earth in the future, the survival of human can be threatened. For example, if bees disappear, people can only survive for about 3 years according to researches.

 

In conclusion, I believe that it is essential for human to preserve wildlife because i think that protecting biodiversity is a way to protect human life

Answer 1

bài này bạn viết khá tốt, không bị sai mấy lỗi nhỏ ( nhưng nhiều ng mắc), chắc căn bản. Còn về điểm thì mình cũng không quá giỏi để chấm cho bạn. Sorry :((