I often spend time listening music => I often spend time on listening to music ( bạn có thể tham khảo ở đây https://tienganhtflat.com/tatrunghoc/ngu-phap-cau-truc-voi-spend-va-waste )
and it can help me relax after a long tired learning day = > and it can help me relax after a long tiring learning day
( tham khảo ở đây nếu cần: https://tuhoctoeic.wordpress.com/2015/04/11/su-khac-biet-giua-tinh-tu-duoi-ed-va-duoi-ing/)
hoặc câu này có thể sửa là and it can help me relax after I feel tired from a learning day. Mình xin lưu ý ngoài lề một tí, là bạn không nên sửa thành it can help me relax after I feel tired of a learning day, vì:
Be tried of : chán ngán vì
Be tired from : mệt mỏi vì
whenever , whatevr I do = > whenever , whatever I do
everything have music = > everything has music
Sometime I hear = > Sometimes I hear
there is alway = > there is always
I love to hear music = > I love to hear the music
Đây là bài của bạn sau khi sửa những ý trên:
As a student, I'm always busy with my schooling, I rarely have freetime but when I have freetime,I often spend time on listening to music. It can be said that music is the best cure for my souls, and it can help me relax after a long tiring learning day. Music makes me happy and more optimistic. I really need music to concentrate during the time I'm doing homework or any kind of works. Not only that, whenever, whatever I do, everything has music. Sometimes I hear music with my friends and I think they like them too. I used to listen to . . . music, and their music conveys meaningful messages life. It can be a happy song or sad song but there is always a way I can relate to it. I guess that is another reason. I love to hear the music because I can relate to what is going on in my life. Music is like my daily hobby and I don't know what I would do if music didn't exist.
Đó là một chút ý kiến cá nhân :)), bạn có thể trao đổi với mình qua face nếu cần: https://www.facebook.com/ngohuu.an.7