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TOPIC:

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

ANSWER:

In the past twenty years, climate change is becoming one of the biggest issues on a global scale. Although a huge number of people are concerned about this issue, some people claim that we should try to live with it instead of preventing it. To my mind, I totally disagree with this opinion.

The first reason is that people cannot always change their lifestyle to fit with the[W1]  mother nature's changes. Indeed, human[W2]  is intelligent and they can construct buildings sustain[W3]  with extreme conditions like earthquake and hurricane. However, there will be a certain time in the future people cannot find a solution to deal with climate change.[W4]  Therefore, trying to live with climate change is just a temporary solution.

Another reason is that preventing climate change is not only for the present but only for the future. Recent research has shown that there will be no human living on the[W5]  Earth within 100 years because of natural disasters. In fact, there is [W6] already fewer places for human[W7]  to live than before due to the rising of sea level caused by climate change. If people just only find a way to live with climate change, the end of the human era[W8]  will occur in the very near future and it is so selfish if contemporary people just think for themselves than for the future of their children. Changing a way of living to comfort with climate change definitely cannot prevent it, but only cause the sooner human extinction.[W9]

In conclusion, I believe that addressing with climate change instead of avoiding it is necessary to protect the environment as well as the Earth.


 [W1]Grammar error: The + specific noun.

 [W2]Grammar error: Human + S are.

 [W3]Grammar error: This is very basic error, verbs do not stand up side by side like this, => They can modify buildings, which is familiar in earthquake or hurricane events.

 [W4]Idea suggestion: Nevertheless, it may happen some situations in near future, which people cannot do or change to deal with mother nature.

 [W5]Redundant word.

 [W6]Grammar error: There are a fewer place.

 [W7]Grammar error: Human + S.

 [W8]Idea suggestion: The era of humans

 [W9]Idea suggestion: Every individuals have to come up a way of saving our environment, if not the moment of human extinction would happen at some time in predicted future.

 

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 Bài này ở phần Introduction theo mình có lỗi nữa
In the past twenty years, climate change is -> nên chuyển sang thì hiện tại hoàn thành, để over thay cho in càng tốt

Câu mở đầu đoạn 3:

Another reason is that preventing climate change is not only for the present but only for the future -> but also

Đoạn kết:
addressing with climate change -> để with đây có phù hợp không ?

 

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