task 1 writing: line graph

Question

A glance at the graph provided reveals the development of domestic access to four kinds of modern technology during the period from 1996 to 2003 in homes in the UK.

It can be clearly seen that during the period, the trend was generally upwars. However the rate of each kind was not the same. Notably, Internet access emerged the latest in 1998 and dramatically followed the trend.

Following the diagram, it is illustrated that CD player was the most popular which was up to 60% in 1996, next was Mobile phone and Home computer which were approximately 30% and under 20% in turn. From 1996 to 2003, CD player and Home computer were both rose gradually and stably with CD player having around more than 20% and Home computer was nearly 30% in seven years. Meanwhile, Mobile phone experienced the most dramatic growth rate about 50% over the period although it had slightly fluctuations.

The period between 1998 and 2003 saw a steady growth of the Internet access, having started the period at about 10% and increased over the years to reach more than 40% in 2003.

Answer 1

the development of domestic access to four kinds of modern technology during the period from 1996 to 2003 in homes in the UK.

mình nghĩ bạn nên bỏ in homes đi vì bạn đã nói là domestic access từ đầu rồi nhé.

From 1996 to 2003, CD player and Home computer were both rose gradually and stably

bỏ were vì rose là đt  thường mà :)

The period between 1998 and 2003 saw a steady growth of the Internet access, having started the period at about 10% and increased over the years to reach more than 40% in 2003.

câu này k rỏ nghĩa. Theo mình hiểu cái having started này là the period chứ k phải internet access nhé. bạn xem lại mệnh đề quan hệ xem

Answer 2

Mình nghĩ bạn nên thay "more than 40%" bằng "reach at over 40%" thì tốt hơn, vì chỗ này bạn miêu tả mà, chứ ko phải là so sánh. mà nếu bạn dùng so sánh thì chỗ này cũng bị sai nữa.

Comments

Bạn này viết ở thì QK, vậy phải là Reached at over 40%...