Many young people choose to take a year off between finish school and starting university in order to gain work experience or to travel. The experience of non-academic life like this offers benefits the individual when they return to education. To what extend do you agree or disagree ? Write at least 300 words.

Question

These days, a gap year between highschool and university is becoming more and more popular to the young who set their hearts on obtaining work experience or going sightseeing. Many people may contend that this novel way of students life may bring great advantages to them when they enter university. Personally, I partly agree with this experience of non- educational life.

On the one hand, a year off may be a good chance for students to wind down after many years of hard study. It goes without saying that those who passed the university entrance examination might practice tiredlessly, therefore they could easily become overloaded without recreation which may pose a negative influence on their academic. Furthermore, science has proved that achievements the more relaxed the students feel, the more energy and enthusiasm they have when getting accustomed to a new study environment.

Additionally, a gap year may offer students a wealth of experience. There is no denying that educational system at university does not only require academic understanding but also empisical knowledge. Only by a year off can students do as much before hand practice as they desire, thereby enriching your personal experience, which may promote their academic results in university.

On the other hand, a pause in academic life may be detrimental to students ‘ study to some extent. It is inevitable that students may forget their academic knowledge during the break time, which may be difficult for them to region. Besides, a gap year would restrain their interest in learning and they may engross themselves in travelling or working instead. Consequently, it could take them a lot of time to become enthusiast about study after a long vacation.

In a nutshell, everything has its merits and demerits, a gap year is not an exception. Apart from recreation and experience it can result in understanding loss together with restraint in study stimulation. Hence, students should weigh up its pros and cons before making their decisions on taking a year off before entering higher education system.

Answer 1

...might practice tiredlessly... mình k hiểu nghĩa ý này

...on their academic... danh từ academic là chỉ người (từ điển oxford) sửa thành result hoặc academic result

...has proved that achievements the more ... achievement cho vào k có nghĩa

...detrimental to students ‘ study to some extent. ... chắc xóa nhầm 's

... be difficult for them to region... ?

Answer 2

Dear,

I think this writing good because of a range of vocabualry, grammar structure as well. however, I would like to make some corrections

" a lot of" should be avoided, using " a great many" instead, for example.

empirical, not empisical

be difficult for them to region I dont understand this, could you please explain it to me?

Thanks in advance!

 

 

Answer 3

to the young => among the youth (sẽ hợp lý hơn b à)

on the nutshell ( từ này ko dùng trong căn viết b nhé) b có thể dùng "in conclusion" hoặc "to sum up"...

educational system at university => ........universities

not only require academic understanding but also empisical knowledge => require not only academic understanding but also empisical knowledge

đây là ý kiến của mình :)). có gì sai sót thì b bỏ qua :)

Answer 4

your advantage is that u tried to utilize many academic words in your writting. Credits for that!  however I notice some mistakes in ur essay.

* Para 1

- I think it is best if u can provide in more detail the reason why u partly agree. your thesis statement is too general. 

* Para 2:

"academic", " experiences" :I think they make no sense in the sentence

* Para 3: 

- there is no denying => it is undeniable

- before hand => beforehand (this is one word), and btw this is an adverb, not adj.

- "only by a year...as they desire...enrich your personal...." => insconsistant using of pronoun. "your" should be changed to "their".

* Para 4:

enthusiast => enthusiastic

 

Answer 5

Your vocab is so great with a lot of diverse collocation. There's something that you should pay attention to:

1. "Tirelessly" in stead of "tiredlessly". There is no "d" in the word, you can look up the Oxford dictionary for sure.

2. "Academic" is an adjective, so you can use "academic qualification".

3. Apart from recreation and experience, there is a link between the knowledge loss and the study stimulation in the gap time. (Your conclusion is great, I just hope to share a new idea with you :D)