travelling alone

Question

TRAVELING ALONE 

Nowadays, traveling plays an important role in our life. It is so beneficial for all of us because it simply expands our horizons. If you want to live life to the fullest, you must fill it with unforgettable journeys! 

Firstly, if I get to choose between traveling alone or traveling with someone, I’d prefer to travel alone. the excitement of solo travel brings a chill to my spine. Also, traveling alone gives you more freedom. There won’t be any arguments on where to go or how long one will stay. No need for compromises. Solo travel can be the ultimate way to pamper oneself; you can rest when you want and pour it on when you’re feeling ambitious. 

Secondly, traveling alone helps us be more independent and responsible. When you are on your own you are 100% accountable for your actions. It is a fact that solo travel brings a lot of benefits to all of us, but it is also undeniably true that we are prone to dangers when we’re alone. Being solo with no one to lean on, to look after you when you get sick or if there is an accident and worse, thieves. You have to solve these unexpected problems and deal with force majors on your own. Once you overcome these challenges, it will help you gain important skills and improve yourself as an individual. It will make you realize that you can do almost everything if you keep your mind into it. 

Thirdly, during what some others call “lonely trip”, you might discover different aspects of yourself that you haven’t noticed before. It is good for your well-being. Solo travel will give you more opportunity to meet new people. One of the most fascinating yet understated things about solo travel is the chance to tell your own story and hear about and be a part of the story of others as well.

Finally, the most powerful thing you’ll get in solo travel is the realization that though we have different culture, custom, language, lifestyle and way of thinking, we are all human beings trying our best to make it through all the challenges of life. We are separated by boundaries but bound by one thing, we all want to be happy.

Answer 1

Hi,

I've read your writing and here are some comments:

Good points: you wrote a complete essay, you divide the writing into clear parts. Your points of view make sense as you explain in details.

However, I think there is still room for improvement. Plus, for better feedbacks, I think you should also include the question.

1. Itro paragraph: I think you should begin your writing by a more general introduction then mention the benefits of traveling. Your choice of traveling alone over traveling in groups should also be written in this introduction paragraph.

2. The second benefit: as you are arguing for solo traveling, you should express negativity like:  "but it is also undeniably true that we are prone to dangers when we’re alone." I understand your idea but you'd better write in another way like: " despite undeniably potential risks, you have chances to challenge yourself and grow by surviving, managing on your own." 

3. The third point: the topic sentence does not match the supporting ideas. You're talking about learning new aspects of yourself. However, the following parts focus on external new discoveries rather than yourself. I think you just need to rewrite the topic.

Overall, your vocabularies and grammar, as well as text structure, are quite excellent! To gain higher score, it's advisable that you practice your brainstorming process for better points and supporting ideas.