review ielts task2

Question

Topic1: It is argued that university students should study a full range of subjects instead of some specific subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Since the second half of last century, there has been a switched from a traditional manufacturing economy to a knowledge economy. Hence, the educational system would be focused on science subjects, social areas and particularly business fields for university students. From a personal perspective, because of learning a full range of subjects will assist for students to satisfy the requirement of the job market, however, it can possibly create pressure for learners.

From a social aspect, learning different subjects and accumulation of knowledge is extremely important almost all youngsters have a good position in society and jobs. Wide knowledge is a competitive edge for youngsters in the job market, so students who dabble in dissimilar to specialized areas and have value experiences. For instance, a clerk working a human resources management is required to possess vital collection skills in financial accounting, marketing, information technology, in particular, social understanding. That is completely serviceable to be relevant subjects such as management, communication, and sociology in jobs.

From student’s perspective, although learning diverse subjects can be both personally fulfilling and skill enhancing, it is causing to some study pressure for students. In the strictly educational system in Vietnam and China, almost all high school and university students are sensed pressure from a large amount of knowledge that has to absorbed daily from textbook and society. In the long- term, these behaviors are results of some disease like stress and depressive for them. Thus, students should have a logistic learning at school and home as well.

According to the advantages and disadvantages, studying a full range of subjects does good opportunities to university students. However, these learning methods are able to create new pressure namely stress and depression when they forced into studying approaches like this. Hence, the good suggestion for all students is a logistic learning that is much better. 

Answer 1

Since the second half of last century, there has been [SC1] a switched [SC2] from a traditional manufacturing economy to a knowledge economy. [SC3] Hence, the educational system would be focused on science subjects, social areas and particularly business fields for university students. From a personal perspective, because of learning a full range of subjects will assist for students to satisfy the requirement of the job market, however, it can possibly create pressure for learners.[SC4]

From a social aspect, learning different subjects and accumulation of knowledge is extremely important almost all youngsters have a good position in society and jobs[SC5] . Wide knowledge is a competitive edge for youngsters in the job market, so students who dabble in dissimilar to specialized areas and have value experiences[SC6] . For instance, a clerk working a human resources management is required to possess vital collection skills in financial accounting, marketing, information technology, in particular, social understanding. That is completely serviceable to be relevant subjects such as management, communication, and sociology in jobs.

From student’s perspective, although learning diverse subjects can be both personally fulfilling and skill enhancing, it is causing to some study pressure for students[SC7] . In the strictly educational system in Vietnam and China, almost all high school and university students are sensed pressure from a large amount of knowledge [SC8] that has to absorbed daily from textbook and society. In the long- term, these behaviors are results of some disease like stress and depressive for them[SC9] . Thus, students should have a logistic learning at school and home as well.

According to the advantages and disadvantages, studying a full range of subjects does good opportunities to university students. However, these learning methods are able to create new pressure namely stress and depression when they forced into studying approaches like this. Hence, the good suggestion for all students is a logistic learning that is much better. [SC10]

 

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 [SC1]Grammar error: there were the switch

 [SC2]Grammar error: use ‘the’ replace a, b/c reader can determine clearly N based on words in the sentence

 [SC3]Expression suggestion: Sorry I did not understand

 [SC4]Expression suggestion: The idea was expressed which is not logical.  Importantly you did give any clearly opinion, it is main request

 [SC5]Grammar error: => learning in different subjects

=> are extremely important ( b/c we have two subjects)

Expression suggestion: learning in diverse subjects lead to accumulation of vast knowledge, it is imperative for children.

 [SC6]Expression suggestion: it is as a competitive edge. for instance, in business people could look at issue or problem comprehensively, it also means these individual are able to offer solutions

 [SC7]Grammar error and expression suggestion: => it is cause of high pressure on students

 [SC8]Expression suggestion: a large amount of subjects

 [SC9]Expression suggestion: what is about ‘ these behavior’, in the previous sentence you did not mention any behavior.

 [SC10]Expression suggestion: this paragraph, you should emphasis your own opinion, do not give new ideas and explain anything. ( at the paragraph 2, 3, you did not mention any method, but also use these words‘ these learning method’)  .