Ielts Writing task 1 line graph

Question

 

The line graph illustrates changes in increase population of the two countries, namely India and China from 2000 to 2050.

In general, the graph shows an upward in India's population while the amount of Chinese people drop significantly throughout the period.

In 2000, there were more people in China than in India. The figures reached at 1.25 billion of Chinese people whereas India's population was about 1 billion. During 30 years later, both of them climb considerably at 1.45 billion people. However, there is a soar in population growth in India in comparison with moderate rise of Chinese people.

After 2030, the increase of Chinese suddenly decline until below 1.4 billion in 2050. In the other hand, Indian people continuously grow up to 1.6 billion at the ending of the period.

It is noticeable that number of Indian people will boom substancially and its population will as soon as overtake China in the future.

Answer 1

Nhìn chung, bài viết của cậu ngữ pháp khá tốt, viết ngắn gọn nhưng vẫn khá hiệu quả. 

Tuy nhiên, mình có vài nhận xét :

1) The figures reached at 1.25 billion of Chinese people whereas India's population was about 1 billion

=> mình nghĩ c nên ghi rõ là The number of population... chứ tự nhiên ghi figures mà còn số nhiều thì hơi confused cho người đọc

2) The amount of Chinese people, mình nghĩ nên dùng number vì amount thường dùng cho uncountable noun thôi

3) After 2030, the increase of Chinese suddenly decline

=> cái này tiếng việt hay nói, nhưng theo mình trong Tiếng anh, mình nên ghi hẳn là A number of population in China suddenly decline

Mình viết cũng ko được tốt nhưng theo mình bài này của bạn được tầm 5.5-6.0