Question

 Topic:  You are a point of view about nuclear family or extended family.

                           -are you part of a nuclear or an extended family?

                           -what do you dislike and like about your type of family?

 

I live in a nuclear family with just my parents and my younger sister.And I love my small house.Firtly,living in a nuclear family is more comfotable than an extended family because I don’t think that it  will have many rules.So we will have more less problems.In addition,we can share the chores in my house  and we can do it together.It makes us have time to understand than.Moreover,my parents are more open-minded.They always just give us advice,but they never try to impose their decision on us.Which I like most in a nuclear family.On the other hand,a nuclear family will have less happy.Because it consists of parent and children whereas an extended family includes not only parents and children but also grandparent,uncles,ants and cousins.In conlusion,each other family will have problems but it isn't important when we known share and we love togerther.

Answer 1

Hi, mình có ý kiến về bài viết của bạn như sau:

Về hình thức: nếu đây là một paragraph thì OK, còn nếu là essay thì bài viết bị sai hình thức nha.

Về ngữ pháp: So we will have more less problems.  Chu so nen doi thanh therefore thi hop hon nha 

It makes us have time to understand than chu than ban nen doi thanh more

mot so  cau ban viet bi fragment (cau que cau cut) ban xem lai nha :

They always just give us advice,but they never try to impose their decision on us.Which I like most in a nuclear family.

 

Bai cua ban neu la essay thi chua dat yeu cau

 

when we known share and we love togerther. chu known doi thanh know how to share love together...

 

Comments

cảm ơn những góp ý của bạn ^^

mình mới luyện viết paragraph nên còn lủng củng nhiều chỗ hihi
cảm ơn bạn nhiều, mình sẽ sửa và mình mong những góp ý của bạn ở những bài sau ^^ thank you