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Question

Topic( Type: Specific Responses): Some people argue that space exploration by humans is unnecessary, dangerous and a total waste of taxpayers' money.

Do you agree with this opinion?

Are there any alternatives to using public funds to explore space?

 

This essay will discuss about the space exploration of humans and the issues of funding to carry out this exploration. Under this circumstances, many people think that exploring the universe by humans is not essential, not save and a watse of taxpayers' money. However, it is disagreed that explore space is not vital and waste money. In addition, there are private funds instead of public funds to explore the space.

First, space exploration is very imperative to humans. Population is growing further today and soon, there possibly will not have sufficient land to live. Futhermore, Earth is gradually depleted mineral resources because humans have exploited excessive. Thus, people have to find more resources to serve for life such as construction, food, fuel snd furniture production. But above all, humans are destroying their own homes, by littering, burning woods of humans and especially the greenhouse effect, Earth has became a very poluted place. From all the above purposes, people have to find a new accommodation that response human needs with suitable comditions, so development of space exploration is very crucial for human life. Even though, some people may argue that humans shoul spend a vast funding on remodeling and fostering the Earth alternatives training astronauts to explore the universe.

Second, taxpayers' money is not yhe only financial source for space exploration. In this case, private financing is also a source of money. Thera are numerous wealthy businessmen or the billionaires have been using private money to invest in the tourism extraterrestrial.

In conclusion, human space exploration has various benefits but we cannot refuse the danger and costly of sending people to outer space to search for other planets to live. In my point of view, space explorationhas much to offer us and both the public and private sectors could have a role to play in funding this venture.

Band score: .....

Answer 1

This essay will discuss about the space exploration of humans and the issues of funding to carry out this exploration (Mình nghĩ không nên ghi câu này đầu tiên, đổi vị trí nó thành câu cuối của introduction thì tốt hơn). Under this circumstances, many people think that exploring the universe by humans is not essential, not save and a watse of taxpayers' money. However, it is disagreed that explore space is not vital and waste money.(Không nên ghi It is disagreed vì bài yêu cầu ý kiến của mình viết It is disargreed có nghĩa là nhiều người không đồng ý. Tốt nhất là ghi rõ luôn I disagree) In addition, there are private funds instead of public funds to explore the space.

First, space exploration is very imperative to humans. Population is growing further today and soon, there possibly will not have sufficient land to live. Futhermore, The Earth is gradually depleted of mineral resources because humans have exploited thiếu object rồi bạn excessively. Thus, people have to find more resources to serve for life such as construction, food, fuel and furniture production. But above all, humans are destroying their own homes by littering, burning woods of humans and especially the greenhouse effect, the Earth has became a very poluted place. From all the above purposes, people have to find a new accommodation that response human needs with suitable conditions, so the development of space exploration is very crucial for human life. Even though, some people may argue that humans should spend a vast funding on remodeling and fostering the Earth alternatives training astronauts to explore the universe.

Second, taxpayers' money is not the only financial source for space exploration. In this case, private financing is also a source of money. There are numerous wealthy businessmen or the billionaires have been using private money to invest in the tourism extraterrestrial.
(Mình nghĩ không nên ghi first, second ở mỗi đoạn như vậy)
In conclusion, human space exploration has various benefits but we cannot refuse the danger and costly of sending people to outer space to search for other planets to live. In my point of view, space exploration has much to offer us and both the public and private sectors could have a role to play in funding this venture.

Mình nghĩ bài của bạn ideas tốt nhưng cần cải thiện thêm ở một số chỗ như đoạn 3 nên ghi thêm câu, introduction cần sắp xếp lại. Vì vậy mình nghĩ bạn dc khoảng 5.5 or 6.0.