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There are numerous things that I want to do and accomplish in my life after finishing my education. I always dream of being a doctor and I'd like to open my own clinic. Here are the reasons. I want to help people. Healing the sick and making care of them to help them overcome their health problems make me very happy. Besides, in my opinion, it is an honor to be trusted. When they come to me for advice, they definitely faith in me and that gives me motivations to continue to study to find the cures for dangerous illnesses. On the other hand, I have no reason for being afraid of unemployment, due to the fact that there are always diseases in our life and many people need to be healed. Patients need good doctors and I will try my best to help more people and exterminate the dangerous illnesses.
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There are numerous things that I want to do and accomplish in my life after finishing my education study. I always dream of being a doctor and I'd like to open my own clinic. Here are the reasons. I want to help people. Healing the sick and making care of them to help them overcome their health problems make me very happy. Besides, in my opinion, it is an honor to be trusted. When they come to me for advice, they definitely faith believe in me and that , which gives me motivations to continue to study to find the cures for dangerous illnesses diseases. On the other hand, I have no reason for being afraid of unemployment, due to the fact that there are always diseases in our life and many people need to be healed. Patients need good doctors and I will try my best to help more people and exterminate the dangerous illnesses.

http://chuawritingmienphi.com/5195/write-a-paragraph-about-the-job-you-like-best

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There are numerous things that I want to do and accomplish in my life after finishing my education. I always dream of being a doctor and I'd like to open my own clinic. Here are the reasons. I want to help people. Healing Helping the sick and making care of them to help them overcome their health problems make me very happy. Besides, in my opinion, it is an honor to be trusted. When they come to me for advice, they definitely faith in me and that gives me motivations to continue to study to find the cures for dangerous illnesses. On the other hand, I have no reason for being afraid of unemployment failure, due to the fact that there are always diseases in our life and many people need to be healed. Patients need good doctors and I will try my best to help more people and exterminate the dangerous illnesses.

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151 points
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There are a huge number of things that I want to do and finish in my life after graduating from university. I've always dreamt of being a doctor and I'd like to open my own clinic. Here are the reasons why I want to do so. First, I want to help people around . Helping the sick and making care of them  make me very happy. Besides, in my opinion, it is an honor to be trusted. When they ask me for some advice, they definitely believe in me, which gives me motivations to follow my career to find the cures for dangerous illnesses. Furthermore, I have no reason for being afraid of unemployment, due to the fact that there are always diseases in our life and many people need to be cured. Patients need good doctors and I will try my best to help more people and (exterminate???) dangerous illnesses.
 

 

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The writer used compound sentences to help the paragraph become clearly and better. She solved choppy sentences as well.
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There are numerous things that I want to do and accomplish in my life after finishing my education. I always dream about being a doctor and I'd like to open my own clinic. Here are the reasons. I want to help people. Healing the sick and making care of them to help them overcome their health problems make me very happy. Besides, in my opinion, it is an honor to be trusted. When they come to me for advice, they definitely faith in me and that gives me motivations to continue to study to find the cures for dangerous illnesses. On the other hand, I have no reason for being afraid of unemployment, due to the fact that there are always diseases in our life and many people need to be healed. Patients need good doctors and I will try my best to help more people and exterminate the dangerous illnesses.
 

 

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55 points