Young people are suggested to undertake unpaid job to help people in society. Is the drawback of requirement greater than the benefits brought to the society and individuals.
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Rất mong nhận được sự góp ý của cả nhà ah. Thanks all.

There are some suggestions that pre-teens and teenage should do unpaid job to support the social human which has the disadvantages and benefits for each person and community. This essay is going to discuss  both of these views into considerations.

Most young people are under enough pressure with their studies without being given the added responsibilities of working in studying time. School requires their students meeting too much tasks in which they are intaking so much homeworks and study programs together as well as parent’s expectations to get highest results. When young people do have free time, they should encourage to enjoy the life with family, friend and leisure activities because they will have longtime to work at ahead after finishing studying at school.

In other hand, there is no doubt that young people will have some benefits when they have opportunities to do unpaid job which may contribute to social advantages during school time. Because they will gain good experiences of working and living skills which may make the to be more mature and have clear intention about personal actions and behaviour when they go out to work so that they would be  good adults bringing benefits for society. However, unpaid job for young people should be limited in some factors, regulated and controlled by government and school to avoid that enterprises would abuse labor resources without paying salary in world’s difficult financial situation. For example, young people can take part in the environmental or green energy project, they would also be a numbership of aid organization to help the victims of natural disaster or work in company when the leader ensures raising money for charity.

In conclusion, young people should spend most time to study at school, but they also would undertake unpaid job to get more experiences and meaningful time which may help them to define their character in the futural. I totally agree with this view when they only do in free time or in the summer without courses at school.
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There are some suggestion that pre-teens and teenage (pre-teens and teenagers) should do unpaid(unsalaried)  job to support the social human (the society) which has the disadvantages and benefits ( both has its pros and cons) for each person and the community as well. This essay is going to discuss both of these views into considerations (take both views into serious consideration).
Nhận xét: Phần mở bài của bạn mắc khá nhiều lỗi, lỗi lớn nhất là còn tư duy từ Việt rồi dịch sang Tiếng Anh. Ngoài ra, các cấu trúc tiếng anh vẫn chưa được nắm chắc chắn lắm :">

Nếu bạn cần chữa tiếp Thân bài thì góp ý bên dưới nhé !!!

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Tất cám ơn về góp ý sửa phần mở bài cho mình, hãy giúp mình sửa lỗi phần thân bài và kết luận nữa nhé. Thanks

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