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More and more people are relying on privates cars as major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems overreliance on car can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution.

Mọi người chữa giùm mình các lỗi ạ, và có vấn đề là bài này bị dài quá nhưng mình không biết cắt ngắn thế nào. Mong mọi người chỉ giáo.

 

It is undeniable that owning a car provides people not only a more convenient but also a safer choice of travelling. However, the fact that more and more people nowadays are over-relying on their private cars possibly causes several problems, which, fortunately, are probably solvable by modifying the law and people’s attitudes.

The first noteworthy problem is the increase of traffic jam and car accidents. The more people choosing cars to travel, the more overcrowded streets become. In addition, according to experts’ demonstration, areas with larger number of cars regularly possess higher risk of car accidents. The second consequence occurs to cars owner who have children. Researchers claim that children who walk or cycle when to travel in small distance are more confident and independent than who are driven by their parents all the time, because the journey on foot or bicycle provides them a great chance of observing and learning from events going around them.

One possible remedy for this situation lies in the people themselves. Certainly, as everybody tends to choose driving over other, there is no better way to change it than showing people the consequences resulted from too much dependence on private cars, as well as advantages gained from other transportations. Since dangerous streets is also a deep-rooted reason why people are afraid of walking and cycling, I suggest another solution is introducing a new law which reduces cars’ volume and speed, therefore provide safer ways for walkers of cyclists.

In conclusion, although cars are among the most convenient, safe and comfortable means of transportation, getting too dependent on cars causes problems which effects people severely. To solve them, people should change their mind of using cars, and the government should come up with legislation to encourage people to have other ways to travel aside from driving.
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It is undeniable that owning a car provides people not only a more convenient but also a safer choice of travelling. However, the fact that more and more people nowadays are over-relying on their private cars possibly causes several problems, which, fortunately, are probably solvable by modifying the law and people’s attitudes.(bản thân mình thấy phần mở đầu của bạn không hay, mình thấy nó kiểu gì ý, không giống văn phong cho văn viết, tiếp nữa là đọc phần mở bài của bạn mình thấy chưa tiếp cận được vấn đề)

The first noteworthy problem is the increase of traffic jam and car accidents. The more people choosing cars to travel, the more overcrowded streets become. In addition, according to experts’ demonstration, areas with larger number of cars regularly possess higher risk of car accidents. The second consequence occurs to cars owner who have children. Researchers claim that children who walk or cycle when to travel in small distance are more confident and independent than who are driven by their parents all the time, because the journey on foot or bicycle provides them a great chance of observing and learning from events going around them.

One possible remedy for this situation lies in the people themselves. Certainly, as everybody tends to choose driving over other, there is no better way to change it than showing people the consequences resulted from too much dependence on private cars, as well as advantages gained from other transportations. Since dangerous streets is also a deep-rooted reason why people are afraid of walking and cycling, I suggest another solution is introducing a new law which reduces cars’ volume and speed, therefore provide safer ways for walkers of cyclists.

In conclusion, although cars are among the most convenient, safe and comfortable means of transportation, getting too dependent on cars causes problems which effects people severely. To solve them, people should change their mind of using cars, and the government should come up with legislation to encourage people to have other ways to travel aside from driving.

Nhìn chung, từ vựng và ngữ pháp của bạn rất tốt, mình nói thật, nhưng diễn đạt của bạn hơi lan man, ý của mình là mình chưa nhìn ra (có thể do tiếng anh của mình kém) việc bạn nêu vấn đề và giải quyết nó tốt. Nhưng bạn có lợi thế là từ vựng và ngữ pháp tốt nên mình tin luyện tập nhiều bạn chắc chắn sẽ rất tuyệt, cảm ơn bạn đã cho mình mở mang thếm đầu óc nhé. Hy vọng sẽ đọc được nhiều bài của bạn trên diễn đàn :D 

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