Bai IELTS Task 1 - Master IELTS Visuals - Page 17 [closed]

Question

The graph revealled the quantity of diarrhea cases in Mashhad during the years of 1983-1992. Overall, the number of cases had a dramatic fluctuation over a period of nine years.

At the first three year from 1983 to 1985, total diarrhea cases remained steady around 100 cases, then double in the next two years and reached 200 cases in 1987. Afterward, it suddenly plummeted dramatically in the year of 1988 and reached a low of under 100 cases to 1983 level. This was following by a significant surge as figures nearly quadruple into 400 cases in the year of 1989, which was slightly dropped around 350 cases in 1990 and 1991. Ultimately, diarrhea situation in Mashhad was totally improved and there wasn’t any case by the year 1992.

In conclusion, diarrhea in Mashhad had tremendous influence in 1983 with 400 cases and was totally under control in 1992.

(148 words)

Answer 1

Mình mới học lớp 10 nên có gì sửa sai, anh chị sửa giùm nhé

The graph revealled revealed the quantity of diarrhea cases in Mashhad during the years of 1983-1992 (during the period of time from 1983 to 1992,). Overall, the number of cases had a dramatic fluctuation over a period of nine years (given years).

At the first three year from 1983 to 1985, total diarrhea cases remained steady  steadily around 100 cases, then double doubled in the next two years and reached 200 cases in 1987. Afterward, it suddenly plummeted dramatically in the year of 1988 and reached a low of under 100 cases to 1983 level ("Plummet from sth to sth" rather than "Plummet in sth to sth" ) (Another way to express: Ex:However,in a year after,the number of people suffered from diarrhea started to fall considerbly from 200 cases in 1987 prior to /before reaching the bottom to 100 cases in 1988, which was in the same level as in the initial year(1983)) .This was following by a significant surge as figures nearly quadruple quadrupled (nice word) into 400 cases in the year of 1989, which then was slightly dropped around 350 cases in 1990 and 1991. Ultimately, diarrhea situation in Mashhad was totally improved and there wasn’t any case cases by the year 1992.

In conclusion, diarrhea in Mashhad had the tremendous influence in 1983  1989 with 400 cases and was totally under control controllable in 1992.

Comment and Improvement: Grammar mistakes.However, your writing was academic and nice.

Good luck.Here is my facebook account whether you'd like to get in touch with me .Account: Do Huan. Avatar: LA city

Comments

Thank you so much, your revision is very clear and well-understood.

Wish you all the best on your journey.

Warm regards,

Quyen

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thanks a lot. Good luck!

Answer 2

The graph revealled the quantity of diarrhea cases in Mashhad during the years of 1983-1992. Overall, the number of cases saw a dramatic fluctuation over a period of nine years.

At the first three year from 1983 to 1985, total diarrhea cases remained steady around 100 cases, then doubled in the next two years and reached 200 cases in 1987. Afterward, it suddenly(bỏ) plummeted dramatically in the year of 1988 and reached a low point of under 100 cases to 1983 level ?. This was following by a significant surge as the figures nearly quadruple to 400 cases in the year of 1989 (reached a peak of 400 cases), which was slightly dropped around 350 cases in  the next 2 years. Ultimately, diarrhea situation in Mashhad was totally improved and there had not had any case by the year 1992.

In conclusion, diarrhea in Mashhad had tremendous influence in 1983 with 400 cases and was totally under control in 1992.