Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Question

One of the current isues that receive concerns from many people in the world today is the increasing popularity of foreign language for children which they should be encouraged to study at primary school rather than secondary school. This has bought about some benefit to some people, but it has also created complex education issues. Tihs essay will let us take a more detailed look at the advantages and disadvantages of the topic mentioned above.

It can be undeniable that young children can learn new things more easier than teenagers. Children can imitate to pronounce corectly like a native speaker when they watch a cartoon movie or sing a song. Besides that, when they go to primary school, you will surprise by their confidence. They can have a comfortable communicate with foreign but students at secondary school can not do this because they can not believe in their ability, they are always afraid of speaking something wrongs. So, students at secondary school spend many times improving their foreign languages.

However, beside the advantages, there are some disadvantages that we should concern. Children learn a foreign language in early years may confuse them between mother tongue and foreign languages. Moreover, many children have a unfortunate life, so they can not to be approach with a foreign language when they was young.

To sum up, learning a foreign language for children has shown a number of advantages as well as disadvantages. Therefore, it is very important for the people make good use these benefits and try to minimize the undersiable effects

Answer 1

1. I think you should not use the word "moreover" since it is not as good as furthermore or also in this part of your writing "Moreover, many children have a unfortunate life, so they can not to be approach with a foreign language when they was young"

2. I don't think to sum up is as good as in conclusion!

Answer 2

 One of the current isues that receive concerns from many people in the world today is the increasing popularity of foreign language for children which they(có which rồi sao lại dùng they ) should be encouraged to study at primary school rather than secondary school. This has bought about some benefit to some people, but it has also created complex education issues. Tihs essay will let us take a more detailed look at the advantages and disadvantages of the topic mentioned above.

It can be undeniable that young children can learn new things more( không có more nhé bạn) easier than teenagers. Children can imitate to pronounce corectly like a native speaker when they watch a cartoon movie or sing a song. Besides that, when they go to primary school, you will surprise by their confidence. They can have a comfortable communicate with foreign ( foreign là tính từ , phải là foreigner)but students at secondary school can not do this because they can not ( do not , không dùng can not) believe in their ability, they are always afraid of speaking something wrongs. So( mình nghĩ nên thay bằng that why và bỏ dấu , ), students at secondary school spend many times(to) improving their foreign languages.

However, beside the advantages, there are some disadvantages that we should concern. Children learn a foreign language in early years may confuse them between mother tongue and foreign languages. Moreover, many children have a unfortunate life, so they can not to be approach with a foreign language when they was(were) young.

To sum up, learning a foreign language for children has shown a number of advantages as well as disadvantages. Therefore, it is very important for (mình nghĩ nên dùng that và bỏ the ) the people make good use these benefits and try to minimize the undersiable effects

for dùng để chỉ 

Comments

Moreover, many children have a unfortunate life, so they can not to be approach with a foreign language when they was(were) young.
Mình đoạn này có vẻ không liên quan đến ý disadvantage of learning english from the beginning