Đề thi IELTS - 28/03/2015 - Some people think that increasing communication usage of computers and mobile phones by...

Question

Topic IELTS của tuần này 28/03/2015:

Some people think that increasing communication usage of computers and mobile phones by young people has had a negative effect on their reading and writing skills.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Hướng dẫn sử dụng trong top Chữa đề IELTS hàng tuần:

Step 1: Click  ở cuối mỗi bài viết được post lên trong top để nhận xét bài viết của các mem khác (ưu tiên những bài chưa có góp ý nào nhé ^^ )

Step 2: Click nút  ở cuối topic này để post bài bạn viết lên. 

Step 2.5: Và đừng quên góp ý cho những bài viết trong mục "Bài chưa có góp ý" để kiếm thêm point nhé :)

Luật của Top:

- Mỗi bạn sẽ post bài viết của mình lên dưới dạng góp ý (+2 point cho mỗi bài viết).

- Các bạn sẽ cùng viết, vote và nhận xét bài lẫn nhau trong Topic này.

- Bài viết nào được vote nhiều nhất sẽ được chọn làm bài viết hay nhất (+4 point).

 

Hạn chót nộp bài sẽ là 12h trưa sáng thứ 7 tuần này nhé :)

Have fun !

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Bài mẫu Band 8.0 cho đề Task 2 tuần này: 28/03/2015 đến từ IPP IELTS

(Updating)

Answer 1

Mình vừa viết xong không biết có sai nhiều không, các bạn check giúp mình nhé.
Thanks a lot :>
 
The advanced technology created by humans has successfully enabled the interconnect among residents in every corner of the world, particularly by popular computers and mobile phones. Even so, it is supposed by some people that the youth's intensive utilization of these 2 commonly-used devices to communicate can probably bring about unwelcomed effects on literature skills. However, whether its demerits outweigh its merits is still a hot-debated topic. To a certain extent, I am discussing both views and giving my own perspective.
On one hand, hardly any generation can completely refute the benefits of advanced techniques on our reading and writing speeds when it comes to communication, especially between youngsters. In the context of a fast-pace society where teenagers have become accustomed to sticky notes, short messages and quick announcements, computers and cellphones are such leading-edge tools with convenient applications and softwares that allow them to speed up their skills of texting and scanning for main contents . Therefore, should young people be much more familiar with interacting with others through smart devices, they will eventually develop quick-witted mind.
On the other hand, today's world also has to confront technological violence. Expertises and knowledgeable adults are attempting to reduce side effects of advanced machines; however, the youth seems to use these sophisticated gadgets blindly, thereby posing great threat to literature skills. Over recent decades, with innovated computers and cellphones, youngsters have found socialization much easier. Nevertheless, due to inventions of high-tech devices, great number of them have been dependent upon cyberspace and become introvertive. They avoid talking to friends, classsmates in person, even spend school-off time glueing eyes to device's screen, living in a virtual world.
Ultimately, every coin possesses its two sides, and impact of modern tools on youth's literature skills is not an exception. Though state-of-the-art inventions promote the comprehending ability, it is suggested that these cutting-edge equipments should be under control, as humans are living in the era commanded by mankind, not by the technology.

Comments

Bạn post nhanh thật, bài này sẽ on top nhé :))

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Bạn lạc đề rồi, bài này không thuộc đạng discuss both of view nhưng bạn lại làm dạng đề này là sai rồi. Bạn nên agree, disagree hoặc partly agree, disagree.

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tớ cũng đồng ý với bạn ở trên. là bạn chưa đưa ra quan điểmđồng ý hay không.
Sau đó mới đưa ra lý do theo quan điểm của mình

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I was taught that every argumentative question could be answered by discursive essay, thus your work's construction is totally acceptable. 

Although wide-range of vocabulary and good organization are shown, your task response is unlikely to reach the topic's requirement. I personally believe at the second paragraph you should focus on adverse impact of computers and mobile phone usage on reading and writing skills not on speaking or socializing skills: "They avoid talking to friends...virtual world". You also didnot explain why: " the youth seems to use these sophisticated gadgets blindly, thereby posing great threat to literature skills". Moreover, you didnot choosing side or showing any perspective of yours in the conclusion as promising in the introduction.

You could consider some ideas below:

Overusing omitted words and abbreviated sentences on mobile phone cause confusion, decreasing writing skill, resulting irrelevant writing style in academic or working contexts in the near future.

The Internet accessed computers offer better access to wide-range of reading resources; however their trust-worthy remains questionable. Reading on computers becomes time-consuming activity for lengthened information checking, causing stressfull reading and doubtful writing rather than sharpen those skills.

 

 

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Greatly thank you for your detailed comments, @betrong
I did actually figure out such irrelevant argument of my essay, but only after posting it :((
I will attend to your recommends and move on practicing more.

Answer 2

Mọi người chiếu cố với ạ :), thanks in advance!

In this day and age, there has been a growing concern about the increasingly using of high-tech devices such as computers and smart phones. Recently, it is belived that the tendecy would reduce people’s reading and writing skills, while others oppose. In this essay, I will look at both sides of the argument and give my opinion.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that in the present world, the overusing of modern technology to communicate online has been a more common problem. In other words, skills such as writing and reading, which are used to communicate in real word, are threatened seriously. For instance, if in the past, people, including youngsters often went to coffee shops to meet and chat with their friends in the weekends, nowadays, it is more popular for them to chat with friends on facebook instead. Consequently, they live a virtual life, which would reduce the habit of communication in real world themselves.

On the other hand, others argue that modern kinds of communication bring us many benefits. In a majority of cases, sending message via applications helps shorten the time spent on waiting for information so that our work could be improved dramatically. For example nowadays, if you need to have a quicky announcement for the meeting within twenty minutes, sending a message, for many, is better than writing the invitation or knocking everyone’s doors to ask for a meeting, which could consume even much more time to prepare. Modern devices such as computers or cell phones could speed up the process very well in this case. Therefore, the more familiar with these ones you are, you could take as much as possible advantages of modern kinds of communication for yourself.

In conclusion, there are both pros and cons of high-tech communication. While I agree that using smart devices to interact with others would make your basic skills such as writing and reading worse, up to a point, the positive influences of them such as speeding up the working process must not be ignored.

Comments

Mình nghĩ là bạn lạc đề rồi. Vì đề yêu cầu nói về tác động của việc giao tiếp qua máy tính hay điện thoại lên kĩ năng viết và đọc thì cả 2 đoạn bạn nên nói về những tác động đó. Thay vì vậy bạn lại nói đến những ý chung chung ko liên quan.

Theo mình, mặt đồng ý là nói giới trẻ bây giờ hay sử dụng những chữ viết tắt và ngắn gọn, điều này có thể làm cho họ quên cách sử dụng từ cũng như viết câu hoàn chỉnh.

Còn ý kia thì nói đến những tích cực như họ có thể giao tiếp với nhiều kiểu người cũng như phải bình luận nhiều thứ qua các mạng xã hội nên kĩ năng của học có thể phát triển.

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Your work seem to has minimal relevant to the task, analyzing about the role of computers and mobile phone usage on communication in general. I think you should focus on impact of those devise use on writing and reading skills instead.

Answer 3

Mong mọi người góp ý cho mình. Xin cảm ơn.

Among different topics for discussion these days, serious attention is being paid to the relationship between using electronic devices and the literacy rate. As a matter of fact, some people harbor a view saying that in the age of advanced technology, the cost for purchasing some pieces of equipment is much more affordable than it used to be. This, in turn, leads to the fact that more and more people take advantage in it to overuse computers and cell phones in communication. Then the youth’s writing and reading skills might have been impacted in a negative way.

Admittedly, there are some obvious reasons explaining why such an opinion can be seen as convincing. Indeed, most of the advocates of this view reckon that the young generation is spending a great deal of time to access to some social networks like facebook or yahoo to keep in touch with their friends and families. Therefore, they may neglect their schoolwork, leading to the reduction in time for practicing both reading and writing skills. What is more, in can be true that when the young people use technology devices, they have the tendency to save time by abbreviating their terms or sentences. For instance, they will use “c” and “w8” instead of “see” or “wait”. This can cause the wrong habit in their writing and after a while they may not know how to spell or write a correct word.

However, there is still a number of people believing that the increasing trend in using computers and cellular phones may even bring benefits to the reading and writing skills. Their argument is that such mentioned devices provide great means of communication by assisting the young people to contact with a wide range of others around the world. Then they have to adjust their writing styles and read more information to connect with many people. As a results, both writing and reading skills is improved.   

In conclusion, both sides of the argument do prove reasonable to a certain. But my own view is that the drawbacks outweigh its benefits.

 

Comments

Bạn ơi đoạn mở đầu thì quá dài.

 

Mà lại hiểu nhầm là 'literacy'! Litearacy = biết đọc, biết viết, tức là đọc và viết ở mức siêu cơ bản. Không liên quan gì tới bài.

 

Đoạn thân bài 2 hơi bị lack focus chút xíu.

 

Bạn nhớ viết hoa Facebook và Yahoo! nhé :D

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Em cảm ơn anh. Theo anh thì bài này có khả năng được 6. không?

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Anh chưa chấm kỹ từng kỹ năng nhưng đọc qua thì range tầm 5.5-6.0. Khả năng được 6.0? Có chứ em :D

Answer 4

It is sometimes argued that reading and writing skills of a new generation are negatively affected because the use of technology in transferring information is soaring. In my opinion, I completely disagree with this view for the following reasons.

The popularity of high-tech products in communication is beneficial for children to improve their skills to some extent. Firstly, students could use the Internet every single day for their own reading purposes. For example, some Vietnamese learners searching information on common websites like Bbc.com are more likely to catch up with the lastest news about economy, politics, and sports. As a result, the speed of their reading skills are more likely tend to be quicker than those who do not take advanteges of the Internet. Secondly, youngsters can text messages through computers. An essay  might be sent easily through email by students to their teachers in order to check vocabulary or grammar mistakes, so these learners may advance significantly in a short time.

Besides, young people’s abilities are enhanced by the increasing use of mobile phones in communicating with other people. To begin with, teenagers are able to use native words correctly thanks to social network. If a person often use foreign languages to keep in touch with their relatives who have lived overseas for a long time, they will probably apply slangs and idioms to a letter. Furthermore, school-age children could learn more pratical words. They usually read all the instructions before making  a free video call or signing up a game account on mobile phones, which allows them to understand clearly all terms.

In conclusion, I would argue that the influences of technological devices used to transfer signals on youngsters’ reading and writing skills can be totally positive.

Comments

Bai viet cua ban kha ro rang, tuy nhien van con 1 so loi ngu phap, chinh ta:

with the lastest news about economicsy, politics, and sports. 

several some Vietnamese 

more practical words

making  a free video calls or signing up a game accounts on mobile phones

Ben canh do, body 1 tap trung qua nhieu vao Internet -> co the dan toi bi lac de

 

Answer 5

As all technological advances have brought on both positive and negative impacts on human life, the computer and cell phone are not an exception. Therefore, it is no surprise when some people claim that the intensive use of computers and cell phones will pose a threat to young people’s reading and writing skills. To the best of my knowledge, this issue is not as serious as someone believes if considered from different perspectives and in specific occasions.

Obviously, the use of a multifunctional word processing may prevent the young from practising writing by hand. Some of them really have much more scrawling hand scripts than those of previous generations. In some cultures like Vietnamese, handwriting is also regarded as one’s intelligence and personality; however, time has changed! People nowadays are too busy to write a letter by hand; instead, a short message is enough to convey what one wants to send to the receiver. Updated software and a convenient keyboard allow writers to use different writing styles and formats, depending on the kind of document they are preparing. To some extent, sacrificing neat handwriting for better and more effective communication is a worthy cause.

With regard to reading skill, the computer and mobile phone have greatly benefited youngsters. They may not frequently read paper books or newspapers simply because all the information is available and accessible on the Internet, where they can read whatever they want and whenever they need it. With a small or even free of charge, young people can approach to different kind of information from different sources promptly and easily. Another evident advantage worth mentioning is the fact that besides the content, they are able to observe others’ views on the same problem, broadening their knowledge about the fields they are interested in.

In summary, the benefits computers and mobile phones bringing to young people can overweigh their drawbacks. Hardly could anyone imagine that the modern world would exist without the presence of these devices, so making good use of new technology is part of objective reality.

Comments

Đoạn Body 1: lack focus, cái "sacrificing neat handwriting for better and more effective communication is a worthy cause" không có chút liên quan nào câu hỏi đề bài luôn :D

 

Đoạn Body 2: lại lack focus bạn nhé :D chúng ta đang bàn tới communication via mobiles and computers, không phải là mobiles and computers themselves.

 

Vậy với cả bài lạc đề, bạn có thể viết lại luôn đi :D bạn dùng từ vựng ngữ pháp khá tốt, btw.

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Due to the wide range of different applications of technological devices such as computers and smart phones that they provide, people tend to utilize them thoroughly to their lives. In fact, the number of high-tech users has grown dramatically in recent years. As a result, not surprisingly, it has been claimed that such devices has impinged on literacy of the young. However, as far as it is concerned, i personally believe that the impacts are not formidable.

We are dwelling in a world that the use of technological machines is inevitable, and yet they bring us a great deal of benefits. Firstly, they keep us informed on every matter happening around us or in different part of the world. By means of the internet and technology, we are aware of any piece of news that we are interested in. Furthermore, not only does it make life more easily, it creates new opportunities to achieve great things that we could never have thought of. But most importantly, technology gives human beings an entirely new way to experience. For instance, we now can read magazines and newspapers online with high convenience, not to mention that typing any document using softwares can provide us high -quality results and the ability to edit it that old fashioned ways could not, and therefore, increasing the effectiveness of any work.

Having said that, we need to take the regard into account carefully. The fact is that, in some cases, people abuse the richness of high- tech.This is indicated more notably in young people. In order to decrease the amount of time typing, they change the words into a shorter form. In the long term, it is likely to have nagetive impacts on the ability to write as well as to increase the likelihood of making spelling mistakes.

So in my conclusion, it is undeniable that the encrochments of using these devices such as mobile phones and computers are visable on the ability to read and write, but there impacts are not highly concerned. As long as the young know how to use these innovations in a right way as they are supposed to be, technology will be part of their success.