Ielts Task 2 - married women now work and problems young people experience
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Topic: Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. To what extent do you agree and disagree with this opinion?

Recently, the change in women position has become a frequent subject with strong arguments for and against. Some individuals believe that a woman should not go to work instead of being a housewife which leads to many issues happening to children such as young criminals.  Personally, I disagree with both opinions.

          To begin, the following of parents is extremely important for their children. Particularly, when a child is not consistent and mature enough to resist temptation of bad people, mother usually gives them the best guidelines. As a result, if married women are at home and take care of their children, they can keep their eyes on children and have time to teach them how to stay away from troubles.  

          However, this is not a prerequisite factor deciding who the children become or how they deal with their problems. Firstly, teenagers mainly spend their time at schools and with the society, their mothers go to work or stay at home which are not supposed to affect what they have to confront outside. Take family in some developed countries as an example. Both mother and father have to get a job to afford the living costs of the whole family, they even have a little time to take care of their teenage children. However, their children still obey and can take care of themselves carefully. Secondly, comparing to the housewives, working women may have better knowledge about the outside world because they are likely to contact with more people and have more practical experiences. These knowledge might help them teach their children and orient them to well development.

          In conclusion, I think that the change in women position cannot be considered as the reason for the problems that young generation is going through. 

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the change in women position thay bằng the change in position of women in ....(ex: in the world, in developed countries...) hoặc the changing position of women.

Cấu trúc 2 đoạn thân bài chưa đẹp lắm. Đoạn thân bài 1 ngắn mà đoạn thân bài 2 dài.

Từ vững chưa phong phú và chưa dùng các từ academic.

Diễn đạt các ý chưa sáng và rõ ràng. Bạn nên viết bằng tiếng Việt trước cho sáng ý đã.

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