The question as to whether animals should be kept in zoos has sparked major controversy among people of concern. Such practice, in my opinion, might be unacceptable on some grounds, yet one cannot repudiate its merits and contribution.
Zoological gardens have long been criticized for their exploitation of animals. Those poor creatures at the zoos not only have to live in cold cages and cramped enclosures for years but could also be bought, sold, borrowed or traded in a similar fashion to commodities. They are commonly utilized as instruments for attracting visitors as well. These animals, rather than experiencing lives of boredom and frustration in captivity, should belong to the wild, where there is no restriction on their natural behaviors such as running, climbing, or foraging. Humans’ practices of keeping them, therefore, is (correct: are) probably against the nature.
Zoos, nonetheless could be beneficial, particularly in their role as a wildlife reserve for endangered species. Were it not for the zoos offering shelters, multitudinous animals on the verge of extinction owing to illegal poaching would by now have vanished, (either place a hyphen here or use a relative pronoun) a great loss to the environment and humanity. The place, moreover, is appreciated for its educational value. By visiting zoos, children, mostly those in cities who for years have been familiar with urban surroundings, are able to acquire considerable knowledge of natural habitats and the animals therein. Zoo-goers, besides, could learn about biodiversity, hence the increased awareness of wildlife conservation.
To sum up, it is clear that the practice of zoos holding animals in captivity, despite its demerits, has certain advantages to both the nature and humanity. Authorities in the future should develop some feasible solutions to reduce the suffering of animals while retaining the educational value of zoos.
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Pros:
- Ideas are clearly stated and well-connected
- Good use is made of vocabulary and grammar
- Errors are rare and inconsequential
- The essay generally assumes a smooth flow
Cons:
- Since this is a short essay, I think you should refrain from over-elaborating some sentences :D Try to make them more succinct. That'd make your work more readable.
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I think this deserves an 8. Good job!