discuss advantages and disadvantages of advertising.

Question

nowadays,advertising is important for business.The advertisement  provides much information about a  new products or  a service ,so the finance of companies  are  improved.However,it has two sides.the essay will discuss advantages and disadvantages of advertising.

there are many advantages of advertising for the business.one of the main advantages is that it provides  information about  products or services.this information will attract the buyer's interest .therefor.companies use advertising to introduce products.the advertisement is on television ,newspaper..Although,the cost of advertisement is very expensive.they are extremely effective for the choice of customer.For example.,you read a davertisement which write about the discount  of computer.if you have money,you will buy it.

the advertisement is not only provide information of product but also creat more job  for many people .everybody knows that the advertisement belong to the marketing job.For instance when the company have many marketing campaign,they have to need much staff who support  activities.the salary of advertisement will improve their's life.

on the other hand ,it has a little of disadvantages.the advertisement provides information which is not fact .sometimes customer buy the product which have a bad quality.For example ,you  hear advertisement  about telephone on television.you buy this telephone which you use very worse.

In summary ,it is important for business.However ,the advertisement should provide the fact information of products or services.

Answer 1

 

nên thay từ academic hơn: important => a crucial role for the development of business

a new products ; services 

mình nghỉ bạn nên rút gọn lại tốt hơn: The advertisement  provides much information about a  new products or  a service ,so the   leading to the incresing of the finance of companies  are  improved

 nên thay đổi từ advantages: positive benefits/ aspects, upsides, merits 

bạn nên dùng những cấu trúc của dang advs and diadvs

đây là những cấu trúc mà mình học được bạn có thể sử dụng cho dạng này:

1.           Allow sb to do sth/ allow sb sth
2.           Make + O + adj/ V bare
3.           Bring benefits
4.           Find + O + adj/ N
5.           Enable  sb to do sth
6. .        Encourage sb to do sth
7.           Improve/ enhance

Nouns:

1.          Give/ offer sb a chance/ opportunites to…

2.          The financial gain

3.          Handicap

4.          It is beneficial = it is of benefits

5.          Upside/ benefit/ plus/ positive aspect/ merit

6.          Downside/ drawback/ stumbling block/ negative side

 

(6) this => these 

buyer's interest => interests

các câu sau các diễn đạt khá rời rạc. chủ yếu là các câu đơn nên viết gộp lại 

the salary of advertisement will improve their's life câu này nên giải thích rõ hơn

every people know that => sử dụng những phrases khác sẽ hay hơn: it is widely believed that, there is no doubt that, obviously, ....

have => has 

marketing campaign => marketing campaigns

staff dếm được không dùng much

on the other hand ,it has a little of disadvantages.the advertisement provides information which is not fact .sometimes customer buy the product which have a bad quality.For example ,you  hear advertisement  about telephone on television.you buy this telephone which you use very worse.

it has a little of disadvantages => thay đổi từ academic hơn mình đã dưa cho bạn o trên

the advertisement provides information which is not fact => câu này có vấn đề bạn đang viết theo word by word nên sửa lại

hear : informal 

advertisement => advertisements

telephone on television => telephoneson televisions

you buy this telephone which you use very worse => use ( v) worse ( adj) + ý cùa câu này không liên quan đến câu phía trước. nên gộp 2 câu lại và giải thích rõ hơn

note: mình cũng đang học chỉ có thể giúp bạn sửa như 1 thôi. nếu có gì sai sót bạn cứ góp ý. mong những góp ý của mình sẽ giúp ích được cho bạn