Developments of technology actually cause the problems to people and make lives complicated, and a solve eliminate the. To what extent do you agree or disagree? xem giúp mình bài này nhé. Many thanks
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The era of technology is in the top of flourishing believed to ease human’s lives. Skeptics, however, suppose that technological advancements breed negative effectiveness to people and concur to abandon them. To my way of thinking, the former ought to be favor on account of some following reasons.

It can not be undeniable that no sooner has technology appeared in all sections of our society, than labor was written off and energy was saved as well. The inventions of modern machines, powerful engines, or even more bring to a bulk of qualified products. Consequently, the indigenous economy of country went into wealth based on gaining a large amount of money from the high exportation beyond their nation. Vietnam would be seen a typical example, an under-developed country to grew one when Vietnam reached the second rank in exporting agricultural product in over the world.

It should be committed that developed technology made people’ most independence on intelligent devices like computers, mobile phones, robots and so on. They are gradually turned into the sustainable individuals as well as their viabilities are quickly degraded. By dint of this reason, yet, it is not persuasive for us to deny, even eradicate advanced technology. The era of information technology opens the totally educational development for all people by the greatly investment, including a lot up-to- dated equipments in classroom of the educational managers. Moreover, human’s span time will be lengthen much more as there are the enhanced welfare and the interference of many modern hospital equipments. For instance, the average of longevity of Vietnamese people rose from 40 to 73 in a fifty-two year period, 1960-2012, according to the survey of Vietnamese socialist in Septemper 24th, 2012

In a nutshell, technology advancement is regarded as the wonderful gift giving human so as to create the achievements and changes, ease poverty and ignorance as well of people when they go ahead in the long term future.

   

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The era of technology is in on the top of flourishment believed to ease human’s lives. Skeptics, however, suppose that technological advancements breed negative effectiveness influences to people and concur to abandon them. To my way of thinking In my opinion, the former ought to be favor on account of should take into account some following reasons.

It can not be undeniable ("undeniable" đã là "ko thể phủ định" = "khẳng định" rồi, ko cần dùng thể "phủ định của phủ định là khẳng định")is undeniable that no sooner has technology appeared in all sections of our society, than labor was written off and energy was saved as well (ko có sự liên kết giữa 2 vế này, góp ý sử dụng dạng causes=> effects, cần có sự thống nhất của thì) therefore, labors have been written off and energy has been saved . The inventions of modern machines, powerful engines, or even more bring to a bulk of qualified products. Consequently, the indigenous economy of country went into wealth based on gaining a large amount of money from the high exportation beyond their nation.(ko có sự liên kết giữa 2 ý, tại sao ở trên là tech-> qualified products, ở dưới là kinh tế ptrien vì xuất khẩu cao, vậy rốt cuộc bạn muốn nói về tech hay export ? ) Consequently, the high quality of these outputs opens export opprtunity beyond the nations, which generates large profits and contributes to the wealth of economies.  Vietnam would be seen a typical example, an under-developed country to grew grown (adj-dùng developed thì hợp lý hơn) one when Vietnam reached the second rank in exporting agricultural products in over (dùng 1 giới từ thôi) the world. 

It should be committed that developed technology made ( check lại thì) people’ most independence independent on intelligent devices like computers, mobile phones, robots and so on. They are gradually turned into the sustainable individuals as well as their viabilities are quickly degraded(They là gì, là people hay devices ? Sao đã "sustainable" = "tồn tại, bền vững, sống dc" mà "viability are degraded" = sự tồn tại bị suy giảm" ?). By dint of this reason, yet, it is not persuasive for us to deny, even eradicate advanced technology. The era of information technology opens the totally educational development for all people by the greatly great investment, including a lot up-to- dated equipments in classroom of the educational managers. Moreover, human’s span time will be lengthen much more as there are the enhanced welfare and the interference of many modern hospital equipments. For instance, the average of longevity of Vietnamese people rose from 40 to 73 in a fifty-two year period, 1960-2012, according to the survey of Vietnamese socialist in Septemper 24th, 2012

In a nutshell, technology advancement is regarded as the wonderful gift giving human so as to create the achievements and changes, ease poverty and ignorance as well of people when they go ahead in the long term future.

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rất cảm ơn vì sự đống góp của bạn Kimchau. nó sẽ igups mình rất nhiều ở các bài sau. tuy nhiên mình có chút thắc mắc
1: tại sao phải thay To my way of thinking - In my opinion, effectiveness - influences
on account of=because of + N/phrase
2: bạn có thể phân tích thì nào được dùng trong TH này giúp mình khong, "no sooner has technology appeared in all sections of our society, than labor was written off and energy was saved as well "
:)))) :)))) :))))
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1. thực ra bạn dùng ko sai, nhưng cách dùng từ ko hay, ko dc tự nhiên và ko phải cách dùng từ của academic. Vd effectiveness thì dùng sai từ
2.  technology phải đến trước, energy và labor đến sau, dùng thì past perfect !
=> no sooner had....
nhưng câu này chia ở thì quá khứ ko ổn, sao bạn ko đưa về thì hiện tại?
cám ơn bạn. hi, mình nghĩ bạn viết khá đúng không. bạn có thể cho mail để mình nhờ bạn chữa bài giúp mình dk k? hi vọng bạn đồng ý :)
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Câu ở phần kết luận: ease poverty and ignorance as well of people when they go ahead in the long term future.

Ease không đi với ignorance và poverty

Bạn bên dùng: alleviate poverty hoặc eliminate

Bài của bạn dùng khá nhiều cấu trúc và từ vựng phức tạp quá mức làm làm người đọc hơi rối mắt và khó theo dõi, 1 số chỗ chưa phù hợp (như bạn kimchau đã sửa). mặc dù mình đạt 9.0 reading nhưng đọc bài bạn có 1 số chỗ bị confused.
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