Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to better life.

Question

In modern today’s world some people debated that it is more crucial to have a comfortable job than to get a high wage and there has become a controversial issue over the years. Based on my experiences and observation, I will give my own view point on this matter.

 

To begin with, it can be argued that in some cases, high salary is better than enjoyable job. Firstly, with the money received, you can afford to pay for a high-class lifestyle. For example, only when you have a lot of money so you could buy an expensive sport car or even a villa. In addition, we may pay for your passion or luxury hobbies such as hi-tech, diamonds or watch-collection.

 

However, there are other benefits for enjoyable job should not be turning a blind eye to it. A good case in point would be that the job you get fitting with your ambitions and personality. As a result, it not only raises your creation in work but also bring an opportunity to get promoted. On the other hand, according to an article, a survey of 500 people conducted last year found that 70% people who worked for their passion have labor efficiency higher than persons work without enjoyable. It revealed the confinement in work should be consider and it emphasized about how critical the comfort in work atmosphere.

 

In conclusion, it seems to me that people are more likely to be enjoyable in their job more than earn a lot of money, if you do not have satisfaction in your work sooner or late you will get tired and bored.

Answer 1

Bình thường đề bài sẽ nói rõ " Do you agree or disagree?... What is your opinion..." hay "Disscuss both sides of view..." Nếu bạn ghi đề như thế thì mình không biết được đề thuộc dạng nào vì mỗi dạng có cách viết khác nhau

Answer 2

Tránh viết tắt bạn nhé : hi-tech. và watch-collection là gì .

Đoạn kết luận , câu hơi dài và rối rắm , nên tách câu ra sẽ phù hợp hơn .

Một số chỗ thiếu "s" ở job

Answer 3

there has become ==> there has became a ...

To begin with, it can be argued that in some cases, high salary is better than enjoyable job. ==>ban add them: especially high salary seem to be better than favourite job (tranh viet enjoyable again) (khong nen su dung nhiu V to be vi chung chua chac chan den 100%)

have a lot of money ==> have massive amount of money ( fomal hon)

khi dua so lieu vao, ban can trich ro nguon doan on the other hand

doan conclusion nen tach thanh 2 cau va them dau phay cho hop li

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