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Topic: With deforestation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered as they lose their habitat and some are even threatened to the point of extinction.

Do you think it is important to protect animals?

What measures can be taken to deal with this problem?

It is acknowledged that on account of forest devastation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animal species lose their habitat which leads to be endangered, even some have the risk of extinction. In my viewpoint, animal protection plays a imperative role in human life and I suggest some measures below.

To commence with, it is crucial for human to protect the variety of animal species. Firstly, animal protection is one of the way to regulate and evaluate the quality of environment. It is shown that the decrease in the number of falcons and eagles in the mid – 20th century is the sign which warns to human about climate change effects as well as the overuse of fertilizers and pesticides. Secondly, many animal speacies contribute to medical development. Although there are many diseases from wild animals, many species also offer insight into curing human pandemic, resulting in the key to a number of medical breakthroughs For instance, when bears are investigated, scientists can know how to this species recycle blood toxins during hiberation which is the testimony to find potential solutions to kidney disorders.

Due to forementioned reasons, human should have some measures to protect animals. One of these measures is promoting to construct the sustainable buiding that embrace safe habitat and evironmental conditions for animals. It is evident that there are many organizations appear to build environmental genetic technology which is the tool to support them in taking care of animals meticulously. Furthermore, human should reduce use of products which have materials from animals. Not only thousands of animals have to suffer and die to try shampoos, mascaras and other cosmetic products because of chemical composition, but many wild animals are killed to serve for the super – profitable fashion industry. Therefore, governments should have rigorous law to manage this state.

In conclusion, animals protection is so important that human should apply some measures to reduce the risk of entinction.

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1. Bạn nên cố paraphrase lại đề bài chứ đừng chép nguyên như thế, cái đó là đạo văn á.

2. So với thân bài đầy từ advanced thì hình như intro lẫn conclusion đều quá tối giản ^^

Mình cho 7. nhé, thân bài thì quá ổn (ổn đến mức mình nghĩ đây là do giáo viên hoặc ai đó đươc 8. viết :))) nhưng so với intro và conclu thì lệch lạc quá rùi.
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It is acknowledged that on account of forest devastation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animal species lose their habitats which leads to be endangered, even some have the risk of extinction. In my viewpoint, animal protection plays an imperative role in human life and I suggest some measures below.

To commence with, it is crucial for humans to protect the variety of animal species. Firstly, animal protection is one of the ways to regulate and evaluate the quality of the environment. It is shown that the decrease in the number of falcons and eagles in the mid – 20th century is the sign which warns to humans about climate change effects as well as the overuse of fertilizers and pesticides. Secondly, many animal speacies species contribute to medical development. Although there are many diseases from wild animals, many species also offer insight into curing human pandemic, resulting in the key to a number of several medical breakthroughs. For instance, when bears are investigated, scientists can know how to this species specie recycles blood toxins during hibernation which is the testimony to find potential solutions to kidney disorders.

Due to the aforementioned reasons, humans should have some measures to protect animals. One of these measures is promoting to construct the sustainable buildings that embrace safe habitats and environmental conditions for animals. It is evident that there are many organizations appearing/which have appeared to build environmental genetic technology which is the tool to support them in taking care of animals meticulously. Furthermore, humans should reduce the use of products which that have materials from animals. Not only thousands of animals have to suffer and die to try shampoos, mascaras and other cosmetic products because of chemical composition, but many wild animals are killed to serve for the super – profitable fashion industry. Therefore, governments should have rigorous laws to manage this state.

In conclusion, animals protection is so important that humans should apply some measures to reduce the risk of entinction. extinction.

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Note: đây chỉ là ý kiến cá nhân của mình thôi nhaaa

- cần đặc biệt chú ý vào mạo từ và mệnh đề quan hệ rút gọn

- ideas và examples của bạn khá tốt

- nên paraphrase lại đề bài, dùng synonyms với đảo cấu trúc đi xíu là auto hay nhé :DD


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