Write a invitation letter to a friend [closed]

Question

You have recently moved to a new house. Write a letter to your friend and invite that friend to come.

Dear Jimin,

I'm so excited to inform you that I have recently bought a new house. I am writing this letter to invite you to enjoy my house-warming party.

As you know, my old house is not large enough for my five-member family to live; therefore, I have worked hard and saved money to buy a bigger one. Now the dream comes true, our new house is located in 04 Tay Ho District, which is about 7km from my previous house.

Let me briefly introduce the house. It has two floors, a rooftop, and a large garden around the house. It's perfect for changing it into a place full of flowers and vegetables. Our family will be so appriate if you pay a visit to our home. My new adress and phone number are below. I am looking forward to hearing from you. 

See you soon.

Best regards,

Maya 

Mọi ngừoi cho em xin ý kiến với ạ. Em cảm ơn (p/s : đây chỉ là 1 phần trong bài thi vào 10 thôi ạ, khôgn phải để dự thi chứng chỉ ^^)

Answer 1

Hello!. Đây là 1 số feedback của mình, mình là ng học AV từ khi nhỏ, cỡ 8 năm rồi. Tuy vậy, mình còn vài sai sót nên có thể thứ lỗi nếu mình sửa ko hợp lý nhen.
1:  I have worked hard-> mình suggest bạn nên đổi thành : i have been working very hard( để nhấn mạnh bạn cố gắng lâu dài. Nếu mình, mình sẽ ghi: I have been working very hard to afford a bigger one.
2. It's perfect for changing it into-> it's a perfect idea to change it into ... / it's perfect for BEING CHANGED into ..
Nếu có gì sai sót thì xin lỗi bạn nhen. 

Comments

em cảm ơn nhiều ạ <333