There is an increasingly popular belief that cooking at home is a waste of time ( bạn chưa paraphrase cụm này). However, I find myself in complete disagreement ( bạn thử dùng một từ khác xem sao)with this opinion because of the merits they offer.
First, Cooking is not as time-consuming as you think. With the inception of the modern era, There (there không viết hoa chữ T) are many services, especially regarding raw ingredients delivery, for customers. All you (first and second person pronouns) need is to write down what you need to prepare for the meal on the software and click done. So you just need to focus on preparing the meal. If you still have concerns about dirty dishes after a meal, you can share the responsibility of cleaning up with other people in the meal or just buy a dishwasher to make it easier. According to my calculations, this only took less than an hour.
Secondly, it exerts a number of (several) positive effects on people. As I mentioned, the materials we buy must be hygienic and healthy, so you can prepare the dish to suit your taste and ensure the food quality. Besides, this is an opportunity to heals relationships with people during meals and improves the cooking ability for an independent life. Think about it, after a hard-working day, you cook by yourself and enjoy it with your family, which will help you relax and tighten the family bonds and also enhance cooking skills in the transition to adulthood to better prepare for the future. Without this, we can lose the cohesion of social relationships and the ability to live independently.
Mình nhận xét một tý cho bạn nha
1. Chưa có conclusion như vậy điểm TA của bạn giảm
2. Có thể áp dụng công thức 2552 (2 câu intro - 5 câu body 1 - 5 câu body2 - 2 câu kết)
3.
Follow the format (you need give two arguments in every side, thus, following the DEDEE format)
D- efine your argument (1st)
E- xplain or support your argument
D- efine your argument (2nd)
E- xplain or support your argument
E-effect, example or experience (experience is not applicable every time for it will depend on the topic on the given task)
(If you already gave an effect, you do not need to give an example anymore)
4. Tránh sử dụng ngôi thứ 1 & thứ 2 trong bài
5. Chú ý điểm Coherence, 1 câu define sau đó chỉ cần thêm 1 explain or 1 example là đủ
6. Body 1, thiếu 1 lý do
Mình đánh giá bạn thang điểm 3.5 - 4.5 nha