Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems.

Question

It has been claimed that living in foreign country where people rarely speak your primary language can affect significantly in different life aspects, including social and practical problems. In my perspective, I highly acknowledge this obstacle. According to the statement, this essay could give a further expanation about the issue of living abroad.
Evidently, lack of social interaction is the main problem when meeting abroad. Language barrier results to the pretension of taking daily conversation between people, which may cause trouble in communicating in social life. Beside that, this also leads to some risky communication problems because of misunderstanding crucial informations when working with medical sector or the police. For instance, if you pronounce indistinctly the medicine you could not assume, you would get serious allergic which risks your life and health.
Additionally, mental illness could occur, which results from the difficulty in interacting with the society. Generally, amount of people who living abroad firstly would feel homesick,  lonely and stress, especially the one who could not speak local language. Those people who could not overcome those feeling, therefore results in depression and anti-social behaviour. On the other hand, they have to face with more serious criticism and racism than the others, and most of the time they do not defend those opinions because they do not understand local language.
To sum up, living in a foreign country without knowing their language is definitely a tough decision. The necessity of speaking a language abroad is undeniable, which I firmly believe that could be solved with a significant amount of patience and time.

Answer 1

It has been claimed that living in a foreign country where people rarely speak your primary language/mother tongue can affect significantly in different life aspects, including social and practical problems. In my perspective, I highly acknowledge this obstacle. According to the statement, this essay could give a further expanation about the issue of living abroad.
Evidently, a lack of social interaction is the main problem when meeting abroad. Language barrier results to the pretension of talking daily conversation between people, which may cause trouble in communicating in social life. Beside that, this also leads to some risky communication problems because of misunderstanding crucial informations when working with medical sector or the police. For instance, if you pronounce indistinctly the medicine you could not assume, you would get serious allergic which risks your life and health.
Additionally, mental illness could occur, which results from the difficulty in interacting with the society. Generally, the amount number of people who living abroad firstly would feel homesick,  lonely and stress, especially the one who could not speak local language. Those people who could not overcome those feeling, therefore results in depression and anti-social behaviour. On the other hand, they have to face with more serious criticism and racism than the others, and most of the time they do not defend those opinions because they do not understand local language.
To sum up, living in a foreign country without knowing their language is definitely a tough decision. The necessity of speaking a language abroad is undeniable, which I firmly believe that could be solved with/by a significant amount of patience and time.

Answer 2

I think your essay can get 7.0 score

I still want to adjust some mistakes:

expanation => explaination

informations => information

amount of people => an amount of people

Apart from those mistakes, this is such a good essay!