IELTS task 2 - More and more prisons are being built to house the world's criminals, and many people beleive long-term imprisonment is the answer to solving the crime problem. However, others feel that psychological assistance is what is required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Question

The crime issue is believed to be worked out by long-term imprisonment by many people since a lot of prisons are under construction to house worldwide criminals. But there are also others who think that psychological solutions would be better to solve this problem.

 

People believe in long-term imprisonment often insist that the criminals are not suitable for a good and safe society. They do have a strong feeling that those who had illegal action are dangerous and must receive punishment and prison is the right place since it keeps them away from the society and have them feeling regret, wrong about what they have done, hopefully there will be a change in their minds.

 

But others don’t think so, they argue that prison is not effective enough but even, causes the criminals to feel worse and are not willingly to change. The solution they feel protential is psychological assistance, directly interfere the criminals’ inside so that they will be able to figure out what they did are wrong and be ready for a bright new start, a legally life.

 

In my opinion, both ways work well themselves but to solve the problem effectively, the combination of the two will be mighty fine. Having psychological treatments in the prison, the criminals will be punished because of what they have done but also receiving mental education so as to start thinking about a brighter future.

Answer 1

My comment :)
The crime issue is believed to be worked out by long-term imprisonment by many people since a lot of prisons are under construction to house worldwide criminals. But there are also others who think that psychological solutions would be better to solve this problem. ( You didn't give what your opinion is )

People believe in long-term imprisonment often insists that the criminals are not suitable for a good and safe society. They do have a strong feeling that those who had illegal action are dangerous and must receive punishment and prison is the right place since it keeps them away from the society and have them feeling regret, wrong about what they have done, hopefully there will be a change in their minds. ( too long, you should divide 2 or 3 sentences )

In contrast, others argue that prison is not effective enough but even, causes the criminals to feel worse and are unwilling to change. The solution they feel protential is psychological assistance, directly interfere the criminals’ inside so that they will be able to figure out what they did are wrong and be ready for a bright new start, a legal life.

In my opinion, both ways work well themselves but to solve the problem effectively, the combination of the two solutions will be mighty fine. Having psychological treatments in the prison, the criminals will be punished because of what they have done but also receiving mental education so as to start thinking about a brighter future.

Comments

"People believe in long-term imprisonment often insist that the criminals are not suitable for a good and safe society" => chỗ này insist là đúng rồi, sửa believe thành believing là được :)

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Sao mình thấy có những chia sẻ nói rằng k nên sử dụng bất kỳ I, wil, you trong bài viết nhỉ. Chia sẻ của một anh được 9.0 writing

Answer 2

 those who had illegal action => took

and prison is the right place => (too many "and") So/Therefore/Resultly/As a result

since it keeps them away => which keeps

have them feeling regret => make them feel regretful about 

, hopefully there will be a change in their minds. => By doing that, we can expect/look forward to a change

=> Actually, you should improve your grammar a lot :3

Answer 3

The crime issue is believed to be worked out by long-term imprisonment by many people since a lot of prisons are under construction to house worldwide criminals. But there are also others who think that psychological solutions would be better to solve this problem.
   People believe in long-term imprisonment often insists that the criminals are not suitable for a good and safe society. They do have a strong feeling that those who had illegal action are dangerous and must receive punishment and prison is the right place since it keeps them away from the society and have them feeling regret, wrong about what they have done, hopefully there will be a change in their minds.
     But others don’t think so, they argue that prison is not effective enough but even, causes the criminals to feel worse and are not willingly to change. The solution they feel protential is psychological assistance, directly interfere the criminals’ inside so that they will be able to figure out what they did are(be) wrong and be ready for a bright new start, a legally life.
    In my opinion, both ways work well themselves but to solve the problem effectively, the combination of the two will be mighty fine. Having psychological treatments in the prison, the criminals will be punished because of what they have done but also receiving mental education so as to start thinking about a brighter future.